Being Saved

"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." - 1 Corinthians 1:18

More and more it is clear how true this verse is. Even within Christianity, the purpose of the cross has become highly controversial. Those who deny our faith don't understand and consider it folly. Christians are considered anti-intellectual by most of the atheist camp. Paul called this shot a couple thousand years ago. We shouldn't be surprised that many will think the faith we cling to is ridiculous. It is. It is not logical, it is not reducible, it is not testable or reproducible, it's faith. As caught up as I am in all of this, it's not the point of where I'm going today.

The words "being saved" jumped out at me in this passage. I meet with a group of guys every Monday night that help process through the passages for upcoming sermons. It's an incredibly valuable time, and last night we talked about this very issue. It's heart-breaking how many Christian's testimonies are only past tense. If they have a miracle story, it's one they look back to. When people tell their salvation stories, it usually involved a date, place and time fixed in history. The phrase here is not limited to the past, put includes the present, and it looks to the future. Salvation is an ongoing work of God in our lives. If we refer to our salvation only in the past tense, then we misunderstand the power of God. We need the gospel every day. Every day we are sinners in need of a Savior. Every day we are being sanctified, we are transformed as we seek after Him and His ways. Philippians says that He who started the work will finish it. When is that? When we die. In other words, salvation is not something we look back to, but something we look forward to.

In the Fall I went to the doctor after finding out that my blood pressure was sky high. After blood work, they found that I have a genetic predisposition to the diabetic condition that almost killed my father last year. My doctor is a godly man, who told me it's up to me to determine when it comes. If I work hard, get in shape, eat better, and sleep more, then I may fight it off for ever. I've taken that challenge seriously and begun to change things. So, I can look back at that moment when I realized I was broken and in need of change. 5 months later I'm in better shape, I feel better, but I've still got a long way to go. Even if I set a hard fast goal and reached it, if I chose not to continue to take care of myself I would be tempted to celebrate only what's happened in the past. I would say something like, "I really worked hard and took care of myself and got to where I wanted to be." I feel like a lot of people talk about their Christianity that way. Back then I needed it, and now I'm in good shape because of what happened then. It's tragic. Scripture says God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. When He spoke to Moses, He described Himself as "I AM." He didn't say I was. He intentionally used the present tense which in this case includes the future tense as well. He was, He is, He will be.

My prayer is that we wouldn't look back and consider the greatest achievements of our faith behind us, but that we would look ahead and consider the greatest achievement of our faith ahead. We are being saved, we are passing from darkness into glorious light, we are being changed. It's happening now. We need it now, and we believe it's coming in even greater abundance. Let's embrace the now, let's be honest about our need for a Savior now. Let's consider that we're being saved.

Buildings...

A few weeks ago, we worked with some other folks in our town to dip strawberries in chocolate to help rescue widows in Rwanda (click here for more about the project). It was great to meet new people and for Holly, Jacob and I to be able to participate in a mission project that is both local and international. True Vineyard raised $10,000 in a weekend, and it was an honor to be a part of it.

In talking with the other people we were serving with, I learned something. Our church is still pretty underground. Over the past few years we've enjoyed a steady rise in attendance, an increase in community activity and projects, and a growing interest and involvement in missions and orphan care. We have a good mix of college students and post-college adults, a lot of kids, and a growing Junior High and High School group. Things are better, stronger, and bigger than they've ever been. In spite of all of this, when people find out I'm a pastor (despite my attempts to keep it on the DL), a conversation like this ensues...

"Where do you pastor?" I say, "River Stone Community Church." They say, "where's that?" I say, "we meet most often on campus?" "Which campus?" "The Texas State campus." "Oh, are you that church that meets in the student center?" "No, that's Three Rivers." "Oh, do you meet up on the hill? I think I've seen your commercials." "No, that's the church formerly known as Fellowship of San Marcos - Bay Area Fellowship." "Oh, I think I had a friend go to that church" "That was probably PromiseLand. They've had their own building for 4 years now." Oh, I guess I've never heard of you guys." "Yeah, we keep a pretty low profile." "Well, good luck to you guys." "Thanks."

If I had a dollar for every time I had this conversation I could... well I could take you to Taco Bell, but it seems like a lot. The latest version included a follow-up question. "When are you going to get your own building?" Bum, bum, buuum! There it is. You can't be a real church until you have your own building. We're now in our sixth year as a church plant, and we're just now walking in the freedom and truth of who we were created to be. We're just scratching the surface, but our identity crisis is over. However, I have to confess, that from time to time in moments of weakness, I wish we had a better building situation. We've now been setting up for two years (before that we rented places where we could leave our gear in place). I'm tired of getting up at 6am every Sunday, leaving my family at home to go and pick up one of our trailers. Though I enjoy the time with the set-up crew, it's a lot of work. For two years now, our friends wait for us after our worship times and help to load everything out. We sit down to lunch around 2pm and get home between 3-4pm. At that point, we are fried! It sure would be nice to have our own place so my life would be easier...

By the grace of God, we meet in a theater that is closed 6-8 times a year. On those days we are forced to come up with a different meeting situation. I used to be frustrated by this, but now I consider it a tremendous dose of grace. It used to stress me out when I couldn't find an alternative location, and when I did, it would cost twice as much as the place we normally meet. However, one day that all changed for me. I heard someone speak on the underground churche in a foreign land, and they told how they couldn't announce their meeting locations because the cops would show up to persecute them. If they wanted to know where to meet, they had to pray and have the Spirit tell them where to go. Sold. No more complaining on my end. We'll follow the Spirit. It's not quite that bad at River Stone, but it's close. It's an opportunity for us to identify with churches around the world where the Spirit of God is still alive and well. It helps us remember the freedom we enjoy is rare and a blessing (or maybe it's a curse, but that's probably a different blog). People really do lay down their lives for the same faith we share, and while they're fighting for their lives, we've got climate control, video clips, coffee and doughnuts - thank you, Jesus! I digress...

Last Sunday (and this Sunday), we're without a place to meet, and we decided to do something different. We decided to give the set-up team the week off, and meet in a park. I've embraced what Rick Warren used to say, "you can worship with us if you can find us." So, the picture above is from our worship time at Landa Park in New Braunfels. No sound, no lights, no livestream, just the Spirit of God and his wonderful creation. People brought their lawn chairs and blankets and turned a concrete slab in a public park into a sanctuary. We sang with the birds and the wind. We lifted our hands with the trees. We bowed down with the valleys. We groaned with creation in anticipation of the Gospel. While we were there, I remembered a passage from the Life Journal in Mark 13. One of Jesus' disciples said, "Look, teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!" And Jesus said to him, "Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down." And there you have it. Jesus doesn't care about buildings. Being a "real" church has nothing to do with having a building. It has to do only with the presence and power of the Living God! I pray that as a church, that's what we want to build - a group of people hungry for God and hungry to live differently because He's changing us. Hungry to dance upon injustice. Hungry to speak for those who have no voice. Hungry for the Kingdom to rain down on Hays county and the world.

For the record, there's nothing wrong with buildings, but a wise pastor told me yesterday... "It's incredibly rare for a church building that is full of people to be full in the next generation." Look around at all the empty church buildings. So many churches are closing their doors. Their buildings were no guarantee of longevity or even the presence of God. It's just a building. I continue to wrestle with this, but at this point, even if we had enough money to buy land or build a building (which we don't), I would have a hard time not suggesting to the elders that we give it away instead. A few years ago, I felt like if we ever had a building of our own, that it would be a gift, and we would receive that gift only if we could use it to consider our community more important than ourselves. I think I'm back to that. We are a nomadic church, and that's who we are. We're not in the same place every week. We don't make it as easy and convenient as possible, but we would love for you to be a part of our family. However, you have to understand that our goal is not to get in a building as soon as possible. Our goal is not to cater to everyone's felt needs. Everyone's need is Jesus, and He's enough. In fact, our goal is to stay out of a building as long as possible, because we're gaining a truer understanding of what the Church is called and created to be. It's not easy, but it's the right thing for us.

Welcome to the life of a nomadic church...

Persistence

Yesterday, while preaching on The Lord's Prayer in Luke 11:1-13, I got hung up on the word "impudence." "Impudence" means persistence. The message Jesus was preaching was one of persistence. I couldn't help but feel conviction about this. I'm a starter. I like to get things started. I'm a visionary. I'm a dreamer. I'm all over the place - all the time! I drop bombs and let other people clean up the mess and work it out. But persistence is about finishing. The life journal this morning was Hebrews 12-13 and Jude. In Hebrews, it says to "run with endurance the race that is set before us." I said something very similar to the quote on this poster yesterday, and it's a message for me just as much as anybody. It's not going to be one in particular dream or vision that's going to be what I'm after, it's going to be the finishing of a bunch of smaller dreams and visions that build into something more significant. For the past couple of weeks, everything I read seems to include words like constant, without ceasing, persistence, impudence, in all things. I feel like I'm growing in persistence as a discipline, and I'm hopeful that I will become more of a finisher in the process.

On a sort of related note, the most difficult area for me to stay persistent in is praying for Holly's eye. It's now been almost six months since Holly woke up with double vision. It's not as bad as it was back then, and it has days of being better and days of being worse. The worse however, is not as bad as it was. She's probably driven herself places close to 20 times in the 6 months. 90% of the time, we've felt like it's just not a safe option for our family. I've found myself the past few days realizing that I'm not praying with the same intensity or persistence that I was 6 months ago. Don't get me wrong. I've prayed ever day for her eye, but not with the same zeal. So, I'm reminded that it is those who keep asking, seeking, and knocking who get the door opened when the timing is right. I'm trusting that some revelation and complete healing come soon.

So, may I encourage us all to be persistent, even if it's in something small. Let's start somewhere. Let's finish something. Let's run the race marked out for us and trust that we're training for greater Kingdom things.

Holly's final doctor visit...

This morning we had the follow-up with the hematologist. The main purpose was to rule out the Anti-phospholipid Antibody Syndrome. The blood work had to be repeated at least 8 weeks after the first test to be conclusive. The results were negative. The one test that was borderline was not even close. He also did a number of other tests that looked for any type of genetic clotting disorder. They were all negative. He even went as so far to say that based on all of the tests (including the MRI's), he finds it hard to believe that it was any type of blood clot that caused the palsy of the cranial nerve. So, if it wasn't a clot, what caused it? It's a mystery. It appears to be a fluke medical condition caused by nothing, or something that can't determine. The good news is that Holly's now been given a clean bill of health. There's no need for long-term blood thinners, and there's nothing to be careful of for the future. Hopefully, by the grace of the Lord's healing hand, her eye will continue to heal and align. This is a very brief update, but I wanted to get the word out. Thank you for your continuing prayers for the regeneration of the 6th cranial nerve. We are praying it through to completion, and we are trusting in the Lord's faithfulness that this healing will bring much glory to His beautiful name. Thanks again for caring about us and for your support through this trying season.

Much love!

Praying for Galyna...

This summer we had the wonderful privilege of meeting Galyna. Galyna is a Ukrainian orphan that was hosted by a family in our church. I'll never forget the look on her face her first Sunday. She was completely overwhelmed by our corporate worship experience. She wanted to sit in the back so she could check things out from afar. Her last Sunday with us (two Sundays ago), she was on the front row - right where she wanted to be. When some people gathered to pray for Holly's eye, Galyna was one of the first ones to pray, and she prayed in her native tongue which is something else I'll never forget. Since then, Holly and Galyna have a tight bond. As a result of that, Jacob and I also feel very close to her. Last Friday, Galyna returned to the orphanage in the Ukraine. Before she left, our elders joined with her and her host family and others who have adopted from the Ukraine. We prayed for her and for her return. We laughed, cried, prayed, sang and gave glory to the Most High for our time with her and how she's changed all of our lives. The family who hosted her is trying to adopt her, but the process is uncertain at best. We are asking the Lord to bring her home. The pictures above remind us of her time with us (at Jacob's birthday party) and where she is now (on the bus back to the orphanage). We are more than asking. We are fasting, expecting, and interceding for her protection, provision, spiritual well-being, and safe return. As the Spirit leads, we all would covet your prayers for this beautiful child of God. On Sundays, we're saving her seat trusting that she will soon worship with us again.

On a related note, we're collecting supplies for the orphanage in the Ukraine. We will be collecting blue pens, children's socks and underwear, and toothbrushes and toothpaste. Also, if you are interested in hosting a Ukrainian orphan over Christmas, there is a need. Log on to the GRACE Adoption Ministry website for more information.

Hematologist Report (on Holly's ongoing eye issue...)

Thank you again for taking the time to read about the latest on Holly's 6th cranial nerve palsy. Her vision is still the same. Still seeing truly double, and she is wearing some glasses we rigged up that block out the affected eye to help her function with the double vision.

We went to the hematologist at the request of the neurologist. The hematologist was really nice, seemed to really listen, and really knew his stuff. He looked at the blood work the neurologist ordered, but he didn't agree that the findings necessarily indicated the antiphospholipid antibody syndrome. He's familiar with that condition, and in his experience people that have it have higher numbers on their blood work. To confirm or deny the diagnosis, you have to wait six weeks between tests. So, Holly will have more blood work done the week of August 10th. He also said that he has treated a lot of people who have clotted as a result of birth control. Birth control enhances certain genetic tendencies of clotting. Most people only clot when they get older, but the birth control brings the clotting sooner. If there's no genetic issue, then the birth control is the culprit. He also wants to check her heart, because the heart can cause clotting. He doesn't really think it's either of those things, but he has to check it out. He did also say that when he's seen clotting as a result of birth control that it's normally in the leg. Holly's being in her brain is unusual.

So, we're still pretty much where we started. It's great news that he doesn't think it's the autoimmune disease. If that's confirmed by the next round of blood work, then she won't have to be on blood thinners. More waiting around and more praying that the 6th cranial nerve will regenerate so she can see. We'll give more information as we have it. Oh, and we seem to be really noticing how many verses there are about sight and blindness in Scripture. Pretty amazing.

We love you and cherish your prayers. Thank you for your support.

Jason, Holly, and Jacob

Holly Eye Update

Thank you again for all of your prayers and support during this strange time for us. It's now been almost four weeks since Holly woke up with double vision (diplopia). Her condition is basically the same. It's actually a bit worse because as her muscle is not being stimulated at all by the nerve, her eye drifts more medially and has made the double vision more severe. The abducens nerve is the real name of the 6th cranial nerve. A blood clot in Holly's brain has affected the blood flow to this nerve causing it to be paralyzed. This is the nerve that controls the muscles in the eye that move it laterally. Since this nerve is paralyzed, the eye drifts medially and inhibits the eyes from working together to see one image, they are working independently and seeing two.

Yesterday, we returned to the neurologist for a synopsis on the blood work (all 7 vials worth). They did find an abnormality. This was actually a bit comforting for us because it means something caused this. They found increased levels of her antiphospholipd antibodies. Antibodies are what your body makes to fight off anything that shouldn't be there. These increased level indicate that her body is creating antibodies that are attacking her own body. It is an autoimmune condition. The main consequence is the producing of blood clots in the body that could cause a stroke (or in this case a paralyzed nerve). Another symptom of this condition is miscarriage. We're two for two in the past year and a half. The next step is to have this diagnosis confirmed with a hematologist who will probably run all the blood work again to confirm. If he agrees, the solution is blood thinners. The question will be is aspirin enough of a blood thinner, or will they want to do something stronger that is prescription? Holly's body should be more well than it's ever been with this treatment. The appointment with the hematologist is a week from today.

However, it will do nothing to repair her eye. The healing of her double vision is entirely dependent upon the regeneration of that 6th cranial nerve. It is just as likely to regenerate as to not, but we are believing God for her total healing. Last week, a good friend of mine named John McComb (pastor of San Marcos Community Church), called and asked if he could bring some guys he prays with over to lay hands on Holly on Thursday night. I invited our elders and some others who have been standing with Holly very closely through this. It was an amazing time. One of the families is hosting an 11-year old Ukrainian orphan who prayed in her native tongue over Holly. That alone was worth the price of admission. It was so great to come together - regardless of church - and go hard after God's heart in all of this. Holly said she felt a couple of different things from the Lord during our prayer time (1) Look at how much Kingdom growth is happening because of this and (2) It's not time yet. So, we remain encouraged the God is working in the midst of this. We're still struggling to live normally as Holly's ability to do a lot of normal things is limited, but we're grateful for the opportunity to come together as a family, pray more than we ever have, and trust God for the future. The support from our family and friends has been almost overwhelming. The goodness of God is very close despite the weight of the situation. We each have our moments of melt-down, but overall we're very blessed, hopeful, and excited about everything that God's doing in this season.

Thank you for caring enough to read all of this and for walking with us. We love you.