Pursuing the fullness of God

Being Saved

2010-03-16T07:29:00.000-07:00

"For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." - 1 Corinthians 1:18

More and more it is clear how true this verse is. Even within Christianity, the purpose of the cross has become highly controversial. Those who deny our faith don't understand and consider it folly. Christians are considered anti-intellectual by most of the atheist camp. Paul called this shot a couple thousand years ago. We shouldn't be surprised that many will think the faith we cling to is ridiculous. It is. It is not logical, it is not reducible, it is not testable or reproducible, it's faith. As caught up as I am in all of this, it's not the point of where I'm going today.

The words "being saved" jumped out at me in this passage. I meet with a group of guys every Monday night that help process through the passages for upcoming sermons. It's an incredibly valuable time, and last night we talked about this very issue. It's heart-breaking how many Christian's testimonies are only past tense. If they have a miracle story, it's one they look back to. When people tell their salvation stories, it usually involved a date, place and time fixed in history. The phrase here is not limited to the past, put includes the present, and it looks to the future. Salvation is an ongoing work of God in our lives. If we refer to our salvation only in the past tense, then we misunderstand the power of God. We need the gospel every day. Every day we are sinners in need of a Savior. Every day we are being sanctified, we are transformed as we seek after Him and His ways. Philippians says that He who started the work will finish it. When is that? When we die. In other words, salvation is not something we look back to, but something we look forward to.

In the Fall I went to the doctor after finding out that my blood pressure was sky high. After blood work, they found that I have a genetic predisposition to the diabetic condition that almost killed my father last year. My doctor is a godly man, who told me it's up to me to determine when it comes. If I work hard, get in shape, eat better, and sleep more, then I may fight it off for ever. I've taken that challenge seriously and begun to change things. So, I can look back at that moment when I realized I was broken and in need of change. 5 months later I'm in better shape, I feel better, but I've still got a long way to go. Even if I set a hard fast goal and reached it, if I chose not to continue to take care of myself I would be tempted to celebrate only what's happened in the past. I would say something like, "I really worked hard and took care of myself and got to where I wanted to be." I feel like a lot of people talk about their Christianity that way. Back then I needed it, and now I'm in good shape because of what happened then. It's tragic. Scripture says God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. When He spoke to Moses, He described Himself as "I AM." He didn't say I was. He intentionally used the present tense which in this case includes the future tense as well. He was, He is, He will be.

My prayer is that we wouldn't look back and consider the greatest achievements of our faith behind us, but that we would look ahead and consider the greatest achievement of our faith ahead. We are being saved, we are passing from darkness into glorious light, we are being changed. It's happening now. We need it now, and we believe it's coming in even greater abundance. Let's embrace the now, let's be honest about our need for a Savior now. Let's consider that we're being saved.

Buildings...

2010-03-10T09:18:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago, we worked with some other folks in our town to dip strawberries in chocolate to help rescue widows in Rwanda (click here for more about the project). It was great to meet new people and for Holly, Jacob and I to be able to participate in a mission project that is both local and international. True Vineyard raised $10,000 in a weekend, and it was an honor to be a part of it.

In talking with the other people we were serving with, I learned something. Our church is still pretty underground. Over the past few years we've enjoyed a steady rise in attendance, an increase in community activity and projects, and a growing interest and involvement in missions and orphan care. We have a good mix of college students and post-college adults, a lot of kids, and a growing Junior High and High School group. Things are better, stronger, and bigger than they've ever been. In spite of all of this, when people find out I'm a pastor (despite my attempts to keep it on the DL), a conversation like this ensues...

"Where do you pastor?" I say, "River Stone Community Church." They say, "where's that?" I say, "we meet most often on campus?" "Which campus?" "The Texas State campus." "Oh, are you that church that meets in the student center?" "No, that's Three Rivers." "Oh, do you meet up on the hill? I think I've seen your commercials." "No, that's the church formerly known as Fellowship of San Marcos - Bay Area Fellowship." "Oh, I think I had a friend go to that church" "That was probably PromiseLand. They've had their own building for 4 years now." Oh, I guess I've never heard of you guys." "Yeah, we keep a pretty low profile." "Well, good luck to you guys." "Thanks."

If I had a dollar for every time I had this conversation I could... well I could take you to Taco Bell, but it seems like a lot. The latest version included a follow-up question. "When are you going to get your own building?" Bum, bum, buuum! There it is. You can't be a real church until you have your own building. We're now in our sixth year as a church plant, and we're just now walking in the freedom and truth of who we were created to be. We're just scratching the surface, but our identity crisis is over. However, I have to confess, that from time to time in moments of weakness, I wish we had a better building situation. We've now been setting up for two years (before that we rented places where we could leave our gear in place). I'm tired of getting up at 6am every Sunday, leaving my family at home to go and pick up one of our trailers. Though I enjoy the time with the set-up crew, it's a lot of work. For two years now, our friends wait for us after our worship times and help to load everything out. We sit down to lunch around 2pm and get home between 3-4pm. At that point, we are fried! It sure would be nice to have our own place so my life would be easier...

By the grace of God, we meet in a theater that is closed 6-8 times a year. On those days we are forced to come up with a different meeting situation. I used to be frustrated by this, but now I consider it a tremendous dose of grace. It used to stress me out when I couldn't find an alternative location, and when I did, it would cost twice as much as the place we normally meet. However, one day that all changed for me. I heard someone speak on the underground churche in a foreign land, and they told how they couldn't announce their meeting locations because the cops would show up to persecute them. If they wanted to know where to meet, they had to pray and have the Spirit tell them where to go. Sold. No more complaining on my end. We'll follow the Spirit. It's not quite that bad at River Stone, but it's close. It's an opportunity for us to identify with churches around the world where the Spirit of God is still alive and well. It helps us remember the freedom we enjoy is rare and a blessing (or maybe it's a curse, but that's probably a different blog). People really do lay down their lives for the same faith we share, and while they're fighting for their lives, we've got climate control, video clips, coffee and doughnuts - thank you, Jesus! I digress...

Last Sunday (and this Sunday), we're without a place to meet, and we decided to do something different. We decided to give the set-up team the week off, and meet in a park. I've embraced what Rick Warren used to say, "you can worship with us if you can find us." So, the picture above is from our worship time at Landa Park in New Braunfels. No sound, no lights, no livestream, just the Spirit of God and his wonderful creation. People brought their lawn chairs and blankets and turned a concrete slab in a public park into a sanctuary. We sang with the birds and the wind. We lifted our hands with the trees. We bowed down with the valleys. We groaned with creation in anticipation of the Gospel. While we were there, I remembered a passage from the Life Journal in Mark 13. One of Jesus' disciples said, "Look, teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!" And Jesus said to him, "Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down." And there you have it. Jesus doesn't care about buildings. Being a "real" church has nothing to do with having a building. It has to do only with the presence and power of the Living God! I pray that as a church, that's what we want to build - a group of people hungry for God and hungry to live differently because He's changing us. Hungry to dance upon injustice. Hungry to speak for those who have no voice. Hungry for the Kingdom to rain down on Hays county and the world.

For the record, there's nothing wrong with buildings, but a wise pastor told me yesterday... "It's incredibly rare for a church building that is full of people to be full in the next generation." Look around at all the empty church buildings. So many churches are closing their doors. Their buildings were no guarantee of longevity or even the presence of God. It's just a building. I continue to wrestle with this, but at this point, even if we had enough money to buy land or build a building (which we don't), I would have a hard time not suggesting to the elders that we give it away instead. A few years ago, I felt like if we ever had a building of our own, that it would be a gift, and we would receive that gift only if we could use it to consider our community more important than ourselves. I think I'm back to that. We are a nomadic church, and that's who we are. We're not in the same place every week. We don't make it as easy and convenient as possible, but we would love for you to be a part of our family. However, you have to understand that our goal is not to get in a building as soon as possible. Our goal is not to cater to everyone's felt needs. Everyone's need is Jesus, and He's enough. In fact, our goal is to stay out of a building as long as possible, because we're gaining a truer understanding of what the Church is called and created to be. It's not easy, but it's the right thing for us.

Welcome to the life of a nomadic church...

Persistence

2009-12-14T05:52:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, while preaching on The Lord's Prayer in Luke 11:1-13, I got hung up on the word "impudence." "Impudence" means persistence. The message Jesus was preaching was one of persistence. I couldn't help but feel conviction about this. I'm a starter. I like to get things started. I'm a visionary. I'm a dreamer. I'm all over the place - all the time! I drop bombs and let other people clean up the mess and work it out. But persistence is about finishing. The life journal this morning was Hebrews 12-13 and Jude. In Hebrews, it says to "run with endurance the race that is set before us." I said something very similar to the quote on this poster yesterday, and it's a message for me just as much as anybody. It's not going to be one in particular dream or vision that's going to be what I'm after, it's going to be the finishing of a bunch of smaller dreams and visions that build into something more significant. For the past couple of weeks, everything I read seems to include words like constant, without ceasing, persistence, impudence, in all things. I feel like I'm growing in persistence as a discipline, and I'm hopeful that I will become more of a finisher in the process.

On a sort of related note, the most difficult area for me to stay persistent in is praying for Holly's eye. It's now been almost six months since Holly woke up with double vision. It's not as bad as it was back then, and it has days of being better and days of being worse. The worse however, is not as bad as it was. She's probably driven herself places close to 20 times in the 6 months. 90% of the time, we've felt like it's just not a safe option for our family. I've found myself the past few days realizing that I'm not praying with the same intensity or persistence that I was 6 months ago. Don't get me wrong. I've prayed ever day for her eye, but not with the same zeal. So, I'm reminded that it is those who keep asking, seeking, and knocking who get the door opened when the timing is right. I'm trusting that some revelation and complete healing come soon.

So, may I encourage us all to be persistent, even if it's in something small. Let's start somewhere. Let's finish something. Let's run the race marked out for us and trust that we're training for greater Kingdom things.

Holly's final doctor visit...

2009-09-25T12:31:00.001-07:00

This morning we had the follow-up with the hematologist. The main purpose was to rule out the Anti-phospholipid Antibody Syndrome. The blood work had to be repeated at least 8 weeks after the first test to be conclusive. The results were negative. The one test that was borderline was not even close. He also did a number of other tests that looked for any type of genetic clotting disorder. They were all negative. He even went as so far to say that based on all of the tests (including the MRI's), he finds it hard to believe that it was any type of blood clot that caused the palsy of the cranial nerve. So, if it wasn't a clot, what caused it? It's a mystery. It appears to be a fluke medical condition caused by nothing, or something that can't determine. The good news is that Holly's now been given a clean bill of health. There's no need for long-term blood thinners, and there's nothing to be careful of for the future. Hopefully, by the grace of the Lord's healing hand, her eye will continue to heal and align. This is a very brief update, but I wanted to get the word out. Thank you for your continuing prayers for the regeneration of the 6th cranial nerve. We are praying it through to completion, and we are trusting in the Lord's faithfulness that this healing will bring much glory to His beautiful name. Thanks again for caring about us and for your support through this trying season.

Much love!

Praying for Galyna...

2009-09-03T10:07:00.000-07:00

This summer we had the wonderful privilege of meeting Galyna. Galyna is a Ukrainian orphan that was hosted by a family in our church. I'll never forget the look on her face her first Sunday. She was completely overwhelmed by our corporate worship experience. She wanted to sit in the back so she could check things out from afar. Her last Sunday with us (two Sundays ago), she was on the front row - right where she wanted to be. When some people gathered to pray for Holly's eye, Galyna was one of the first ones to pray, and she prayed in her native tongue which is something else I'll never forget. Since then, Holly and Galyna have a tight bond. As a result of that, Jacob and I also feel very close to her. Last Friday, Galyna returned to the orphanage in the Ukraine. Before she left, our elders joined with her and her host family and others who have adopted from the Ukraine. We prayed for her and for her return. We laughed, cried, prayed, sang and gave glory to the Most High for our time with her and how she's changed all of our lives. The family who hosted her is trying to adopt her, but the process is uncertain at best. We are asking the Lord to bring her home. The pictures above remind us of her time with us (at Jacob's birthday party) and where she is now (on the bus back to the orphanage). We are more than asking. We are fasting, expecting, and interceding for her protection, provision, spiritual well-being, and safe return. As the Spirit leads, we all would covet your prayers for this beautiful child of God. On Sundays, we're saving her seat trusting that she will soon worship with us again.

On a related note, we're collecting supplies for the orphanage in the Ukraine. We will be collecting blue pens, children's socks and underwear, and toothbrushes and toothpaste. Also, if you are interested in hosting a Ukrainian orphan over Christmas, there is a need. Log on to the GRACE Adoption Ministry website for more information.

Hematologist Report (on Holly's ongoing eye issue...)

2009-07-29T11:59:00.000-07:00

Thank you again for taking the time to read about the latest on Holly's 6th cranial nerve palsy. Her vision is still the same. Still seeing truly double, and she is wearing some glasses we rigged up that block out the affected eye to help her function with the double vision.

We went to the hematologist at the request of the neurologist. The hematologist was really nice, seemed to really listen, and really knew his stuff. He looked at the blood work the neurologist ordered, but he didn't agree that the findings necessarily indicated the antiphospholipid antibody syndrome. He's familiar with that condition, and in his experience people that have it have higher numbers on their blood work. To confirm or deny the diagnosis, you have to wait six weeks between tests. So, Holly will have more blood work done the week of August 10th. He also said that he has treated a lot of people who have clotted as a result of birth control. Birth control enhances certain genetic tendencies of clotting. Most people only clot when they get older, but the birth control brings the clotting sooner. If there's no genetic issue, then the birth control is the culprit. He also wants to check her heart, because the heart can cause clotting. He doesn't really think it's either of those things, but he has to check it out. He did also say that when he's seen clotting as a result of birth control that it's normally in the leg. Holly's being in her brain is unusual.

So, we're still pretty much where we started. It's great news that he doesn't think it's the autoimmune disease. If that's confirmed by the next round of blood work, then she won't have to be on blood thinners. More waiting around and more praying that the 6th cranial nerve will regenerate so she can see. We'll give more information as we have it. Oh, and we seem to be really noticing how many verses there are about sight and blindness in Scripture. Pretty amazing.

We love you and cherish your prayers. Thank you for your support.

Jason, Holly, and Jacob

Holly Eye Update

2009-07-21T08:52:00.000-07:00

Thank you again for all of your prayers and support during this strange time for us. It's now been almost four weeks since Holly woke up with double vision (diplopia). Her condition is basically the same. It's actually a bit worse because as her muscle is not being stimulated at all by the nerve, her eye drifts more medially and has made the double vision more severe. The abducens nerve is the real name of the 6th cranial nerve. A blood clot in Holly's brain has affected the blood flow to this nerve causing it to be paralyzed. This is the nerve that controls the muscles in the eye that move it laterally. Since this nerve is paralyzed, the eye drifts medially and inhibits the eyes from working together to see one image, they are working independently and seeing two.

Yesterday, we returned to the neurologist for a synopsis on the blood work (all 7 vials worth). They did find an abnormality. This was actually a bit comforting for us because it means something caused this. They found increased levels of her antiphospholipd antibodies. Antibodies are what your body makes to fight off anything that shouldn't be there. These increased level indicate that her body is creating antibodies that are attacking her own body. It is an autoimmune condition. The main consequence is the producing of blood clots in the body that could cause a stroke (or in this case a paralyzed nerve). Another symptom of this condition is miscarriage. We're two for two in the past year and a half. The next step is to have this diagnosis confirmed with a hematologist who will probably run all the blood work again to confirm. If he agrees, the solution is blood thinners. The question will be is aspirin enough of a blood thinner, or will they want to do something stronger that is prescription? Holly's body should be more well than it's ever been with this treatment. The appointment with the hematologist is a week from today.

However, it will do nothing to repair her eye. The healing of her double vision is entirely dependent upon the regeneration of that 6th cranial nerve. It is just as likely to regenerate as to not, but we are believing God for her total healing. Last week, a good friend of mine named John McComb (pastor of San Marcos Community Church), called and asked if he could bring some guys he prays with over to lay hands on Holly on Thursday night. I invited our elders and some others who have been standing with Holly very closely through this. It was an amazing time. One of the families is hosting an 11-year old Ukrainian orphan who prayed in her native tongue over Holly. That alone was worth the price of admission. It was so great to come together - regardless of church - and go hard after God's heart in all of this. Holly said she felt a couple of different things from the Lord during our prayer time (1) Look at how much Kingdom growth is happening because of this and (2) It's not time yet. So, we remain encouraged the God is working in the midst of this. We're still struggling to live normally as Holly's ability to do a lot of normal things is limited, but we're grateful for the opportunity to come together as a family, pray more than we ever have, and trust God for the future. The support from our family and friends has been almost overwhelming. The goodness of God is very close despite the weight of the situation. We each have our moments of melt-down, but overall we're very blessed, hopeful, and excited about everything that God's doing in this season.

Thank you for caring enough to read all of this and for walking with us. We love you.

Double Vision Update

2009-07-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

First of all, I would like to thank you so much for all of your thoughts, prayers, and kind words over the past couple of weeks. It is still a bit overwhelming at times, and we are truly humbled by so many family and friends interceding on our behalf. I just wanted to send a quick update.

These are some glasses that I rigged up for Holly to wear. The only way for her to not see double at this point is to block out her left eye. Her vision is 20/20 in both eyes individually, but the left one is the affected eye. It's the one that is unable to align the two images she is seeing. So, these glasses allow her to see normally out of her good eye and to block out the double vision. They are not a great fix, but better than a patch. We went back to the eye doctor last week, and he has ordered Holly a +10 contact. It's a super strong prescription. It's like putting on eye glasses that are so strong you can't see through them. The lens is so strong that she can't see through it, and it just whites out everything. The thought is that whited out is better than blacked out, and with the contact, she can still see light without obstruction. So, that should be here this week for her to try out.

We went last we last week for the bloodwork, and they took 5 viles of blood. The next day they called and said they didn't see everything on the order, and they need 3 more. So, the three more will happen today. Again, the bloodwork is to see if there's a viral or blood issue causing the 6th cranial nerve palsy.

We're taking it one day at a time. Coping is a little easier each day, but still very life-changing. Our prayer is that God would restore her sight completely in his perfect timing for His own glory.

Again, all the messages, phone calls, and conversations have been a huge blessing. Thank you for standing with us.

Faith shall be sight...

2009-06-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

It's hard to put into words the events of the past few days. We appreciate all the calls, e-mails, messages, tweets, thoughts, and prayers. For those of you reading about this for the first time, thank you for caring about us.

On Thursday morning, Holly texted me during a meeting to tell me that she was seeing double. She's been spending a lot of time working on graphics this month, and she thought she had just strained them from spending too much time in front of the monitor. After taking Thursday off, she woke up Friday still seeing double. She walked in for an appointment with Dr. Stanfield, our optometrist and friend. After his exam, he said Holly's eyes were fine. She was seeing 20/20. She could read the bottom line on the chart, she just saw two lines instead of one. Dr. Stanfield said most people who say they're saying double are actually seeing blurred or ghost-like images. She was truly seeing double. The abrubt onset of the double vision and her eyes being fine were a cause of concern. Dr. Stanfield wanted her to go see a neurologist for an MRI as soon as possible. The problem was that it was Friday afternoon - not a great time to schedule a last minute MRI. After striking out finding a neurolgoist, our surgeron friend, Dr. Mathis, ordered an MRI so we wouldn't have to wait out the weekend wondering if there was something serious causing the double vision. The three hours we had to wait seemed like an eternity. I can't imagine what it would've been like to wait the weekend.

Holly's fear in the morning was that her streak of perfect vision was coming to an end after 31 years of 20/20. At 3:45, the fear was a bit more intense. Now we were conerned about a mass, an anuerism, or something like M.S.. I don't remember a worse period of time in my life than the few hours of not knowing whether or not my wife had something serious causing her double vision. The test took about an hour, and Dr. Mathis called about an hour later and said the MRI was negative. There was nothing in her brain causing the double vision. So, her eyes are fine, and she doesn't have any of the major things that cause this. Great news! Bad news - she's still seeing double. Did I mention this is the day we were supposed to be celebrating our 11th anniversary? Not quite the celebration we planned for.

So, we survived the weekend with a new appreciation for how people with visual disabilities navigate through life. Her vision did not improve at all over the weekend, and with the difficulty in focusing came headaches and fatique. We were anxious to get to the neurologist on Monday to try and get some more answers.

The neurologist gave her a full neuro exam and declared her neurologically fit with the exception of something going on with her left eye. The condition is best described as a palsy of the 6th cranial nerve. The doctor's best guess is that a small blood clot is what's caused the palsy. There's no reason they can find by exam or MRI, so that leaves physiological deduction. Guessing. There are some viral infections that can cause this, some obscure diseases and blood conditions. So, they've ordered a very thorough blood work-up to rule out all of those things. Those other conditions, though, should be accompanied by other symptoms. She has no other symptoms. They've put her on aspirin to increase the blood flow, and if the blood work comes back negative the condition could begin to heal. If that's the case, without supernatural intervention, it could be up to 6 months before her vision is restored to normal.

The neurologist said that we'll never meet another person with this, it won't come up in conversation. It's a unique situation that little is known about. We are so grateful for all of you in our lives. The support has been overwhelming, and we'll be taking you up on the help offers until we get through this. Earlier in the week, Jacob and I were doing a Bible Study together. We were talking about faith, and I told him that scripture says that faith is believing in what you can't see. When he was talking about mommy not being able to see, he said, "That's like faith, Daddy." So we're believing in what we can't see, and as I was listenting to the new Aaron Ivey CD, I got hung up on the verse of "It is Well" that says, "Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight...". Clearly the verse is talking about seeing Jesus, but it has an additional meaning for us now. We believe our faith will be the return of Holly's sight.

For now, it affects everything - her graphic work, her photography, her ability to drive, to watch movies, to read, to do everything really. The neurologist recommended a patch to cover the affected eye because the other eye is fine. She's tried that around the house the past couple of days, but her equilibrium is messed up from trying to get acclimated to only being able to see out of one eye. We've got an appointment with the eye doctor again tomorrow to explore some other options for closing off that eye. Unfortunately, there's not a lot of explanation and not a lot of good options for what's going to happen from here. We are trusting God for a full recovery, and until then we're just taking it a minute at a time trying to make the best of a very odd situation. We love you very much. Thank you for taking time to read all of this.

Much love,

Jason, Holly, and Jacob

Aaron Ivey CD

2009-06-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

I've known Aaron for a long time and am honored to call him a friend. I loved all of his work with Spur 58, and I am blown away by the new solo project. It is inspired, anointed, and necessary in an age where the Kingdom is desperately needed on earth. I can't get these songs out of my head, and I love it. Buy it now!

The little blue packet of obedience

2009-04-14T06:55:00.001-07:00

This morning I was reading in 1 Samuel 15. An excerpt from verse 22 says, "...Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice..."

It really got me thinking. This week I was talking to a friend of mine who is not a church-goer. He grew up in the Catholic church and has a Christian perspective on life, but he does not go to church. He was talking about how some guys he knows were adamant about abstaining from eating beef during lent while having no trouble chasing after women behind their wives' backs. I thought it was a profound observation. Why would they do this? Because they believe that sacrifice trumps obedience.

Sacrifice is a weak substitute (like equal for sugar) for a living, breathing, real relationship with the Creator of the universe. Even in the Old Testament, the LORD was revealing Himself, speaking to His children and asking for obedience and faith. They ignored him and offered him some token burnt offerings to try and make amends for their disobedience. This passage goes on to say that presumption is iniquity and idolatry. I think this is dangerous because I see a lot of presumption in the Church. We presume that God is pleased with a packed house at church. We presume that our songs are real worship. We presume that God is pleased that we decided to get out of bed and go. Maybe we even presume that because we fast or pray that God will have more grace on us. We presume that giving up beef will make up for cheating on our wife. It's sad that this system didn't work thousands of years ago, and it still doesn't work today.

God is not interested in sacrifices that make us feel better about ourselves. He's not interested in how many people we got to come to church. He's not interested in how well we pulled off a worship experience. I don't think he's using (I know I'm presuming now) the same scale to measure success. The next chapter says "For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." Romans 12 says that worship has nothing to do with an hour and a half on Sundays but the way we live our lives. James 1 says that religion that is valid is taking care of widows and orphans. There's a real danger the week after Easter to feel like we're advancing the Kingdom because our numbers were big. Consequently, do we feel like we're doing less advancing because they won't be back next week?

So, where are we? Are we sacrificing and offering things in an attempt to draw near to God? Or, are we drawing near, listening for the still small voice, and responding in obedience to the sovereign plan of an Almighty God and Creator who loved us enough to come to us. We should stop trying so hard to win his approval by what we're trying to "pull off" and realize that His approval is a gift given to us through His Son, and His sacrifice is what's important. I pray that God would reveal the things we're offering as substitutes for obedience and that we would walk by faith and not by sight - in obedience and not in self-centered sacrifices.

Dad's story...

2009-04-09T10:46:00.001-07:00

It seems like it's probably time to give all the details of what's been going on with my dad. First of all, thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, and kind words/messages from so many of you. There has been the biggest sense of this burden being shared among so many. Our family has been truly blessed by all of the love and compassion shown to us during the past three weeks.

While Holly and I were in the UK, we got an e-mail message from my mom that my sister and brother-in-law had found Dad passed out at his shop. The report I got was that he was dehydrated, disoriented, and had incredibly high blood sugar. I got that report Wednesday morning England time. So, we began to pray for Dad and went about our day thinking of him often. When we returned, a much more serious e-mail was waiting. He's had a 107.8 temperature all day, blood sugar of 2413, and is not expected to live. The story of us staying and finishing our trip and conference and how the Lord spoke to us and others is an amazing story, but I've chosen not to talk about all of that hear. For now, I'm just going to focus on the Dad's progress and not our own. He went from literally a ZERO percent chance of recovery to SEVENTY percent chance to full recovery. Here's what happened.

Dad had been sick with what he thought was the flu for two weeks. As it turns out, he had gall stones. The gall stones got so bad they shut down his pancreas. He developed severe pancreatitis. As a result his blood sugar skyrocketed to 2413 (his ICU nurse said the highest she had ever heard about was 1700). Needless to say, his body was shutting down - every major organ was being affected. His temperature reached 107.8 for most of a day while he was laying on an ice blanket. People generally don't recover from either of those things. However, an army of people were praying fervently for a miracle. Dad's pastor brought John 11:4 to the table which says, "This sickness will not end in death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” It was prophetic. Any moment, things could've gone bad quickly, but instead every moment he pressed on. He began to improve slowly and steadily. The first week he was heavily sedated because of the pain of the gall stones and the need for his body to conserve energy in order to restore function to his organs. He was on a ventilator, feeding tube, and had a central line. Every day the news wasn't that he was making huge progress, but he wasn't getting worse - which ultimately meant he was improving. We returned home in the middle of the night Thursday the 2nd. Friday morning, I finally made it to the hospital, and dad was sitting up looking at me and asked me how my trip was. He went from the brink of death to this in just under two weeks. They pumped him full of fluids to keep him alive while sedated, but then the fluids were in the way of normal activity, movement, and breathing. They put him on dialysis to remove the fluid from his lungs because his kidneys were not doing their job yet. Every time they would do dialysis, they would take 5 liters of fluid from his body. The fluid was keeping him from breathing well - so he was still on a lot of oxygen. This week he continued the dialysis, and yesterday he called me himself to tell me he was out of the ICU and in a normal room. Shelley and I figured it would be at least another week. We were shocked. He said they're talking about discharging him completely on Saturday. His prognosis is incredibly good, but it will take 6 weeks or so to see if his kidneys will re-boot so to speak. Until then, he will have to be on dialysis. There appears to be no other damage.

It is so humbling to be such a close eyewitness to a miracle of this magnitude. It's been amazing to see the nurses and doctors give glory to God. Most everyone who came to see Dad in the hospital ended up praying with/over him. Everyone was on the same page - this sickness would not end in death.

For those still praying, please continue to pray for his kidneys. It will be complete healing if they kick in on their own.

That's the incredibly short version of the story. To God be the glory.

2009-03-06T06:39:00.000-08:00

Jacob's T-Ball schedule for those who've been asking...

3/7/09 - 11:00 am
3/13/09 - 6:00 pm
3/14/09 - 12:30 pm
4/3/09 - 6:00 pm
4/4/09 - 11:15 am
4/17/09 - 6:00 pm
4/18/09 - 12:30 pm
4/23/09 - 5:30 pm
4/30/09 - 5:30 pm
5/7/09 - 5:30 pm
5/14/09 - 5:30 pm
5/16/09 - 10:00 am

All games are played at the little league fields on I-35 @ C.M. Allen Parkway. Go Braves.

Woe to you who laugh...

2009-02-16T08:40:00.000-08:00

In my preparation this week of Luke 6:20-26, I couldn't get past the verse that says, "Woe to you who laugh...". The issue I have is not with Christians enjoying life and living it to the full. The issue I have is Christians enjoying life and living it to the full while ignoring the condition of the poor around the world. It is wrong for us to spend our life and energy pursuing our happiness at the expense of those who live in oppression and poverty. If our prayer is truly for the Kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven, then we can't pretend like the world is not a disaster. I compiled the following information about the condition of things around the world. I pray the Lord would lead us into the best opportunities to dance upon these injustices. This is not ok.

Tragically, nearly 27,000 children under age 5 die every day, mainly from preventable diseases and related causes.
More than 2 billion people lack access to electricity and modern forms of energy.
More than 1 billion (one in five) people live on less than U.S.$1 a day.
The annual world economy breaks down like this: Low Income, $825 or less: 37%, Lower Middle Income, $826 to $3,255: 38%, Upper Middle Income, $3,256 to $10,065: 9%, High Income, $10,066 or more: 16%
Approximately 143 million children in the developing world (one in 13) are orphans.
More than 10 million children under age 5 die each year. Two-thirds of these deaths — more than 6 million deaths every year — are preventable.
There are 1.5 million diarrheal-related deaths per year among children under 5.
An estimated 130 million of the world's 15- to 24- year-olds cannot read or write.
Roughly one-sixth of the world's population, or 1.1 billion people, do not have access to safe water.
About 2.6 billion people in the world do not have access to adequate sanitation, roughly two-fifths of the world's population.
Approximately 1.8 million children die every year as a result of diseases caused by unclean water and poor sanitation. This amounts to around 5,000 deaths a day.
The average person in the developing world uses 2.6 gallons of water every day for drinking, washing and cooking. This is the same amount used in the average flush of a toilet.
Approximately 21.1 percent of children live in developing countries without safe water.
Each day, 1,500 children worldwide become infected with HIV, the vast majority of them newborns.
Every 14 seconds a child is orphaned by AIDS.
One person in seven goes to bed hungry every day.
Every day, nearly 16,000 children die from hunger-related causes. That amounts to one child every 5 seconds.
About 5.6 million or 53 percent of child deaths worldwide are related to under-nutrition.
Approximately 146 million or 27 percent of children under age 5 in developing countries are underweight.
More than 6 million children die from malnutrition each year.
Worldwide, 161 million preschool children suffer chronic malnutrition.
Already 40 percent to 50 percent of the world's populations are undernourished and there are 50 million starvation-related deaths each year.
Diarrhea kills an estimated 1.6 million children each year, caused mainly by unsafe water and poor sanitation.
About 40 percent of the world's 400 million school-age children are infested with intestinal worms due to the lack of sanitation.
More than 2 billion people globally lack access to electricity and modern forms of energy.
2.2 billion lived in countries ruled by dictators or totalitarian regimes.
Children living in areas of extreme economic hardship and social disruption are at increased risk for abuse, violence and exploitation.
An estimated 1.2 million children — both boys and girls — are trafficked each year into exploitative work in agriculture, mining, factories, armed conflict or commercial sex work.
Approximately 5.1 billion people live in the developing world. The developed world, which consists of about 57 countries with a combined population of about 1 billion, is less than one-sixth of the world's population.
55 percent of all births in the developing world (excluding China) go unregistered, meaning more than 50 million children begin life with no identity.
Worldwide, 126 million children work in hazardous conditions.
Every year more than 1 million children get pulled into the sex trade.
An estimated 8.4 million children work under horrific circumstances: forced into debt bondage or other forms of slavery, prostitution, pornography, armed conflict or other illicit activities.

When Enough is Enough

2009-02-04T15:56:00.001-08:00

I was reading in Exodus this week and stumbled on to something extraordinary. In chapter 36, verse 5, “The people bring much more than enough for doing the work that the Lord has commanded us to do.”

For the first time I can remember, I'm hearing pastors talking about the reality of the economic hard times. I've heard about churches who are putting expansion plans on hold, cutting spending on ministries, and even letting staff go. Our church is experiencing tremendous growth, but our offerings have not increased significantly. Every day we try our best to do more with less, empower more volunteers, work more efficiently, and to be faithful with what we've been given. The reality is that we have a lot of people looking for work, and our church is half college students. It is exciting to see God at work in our fellowship and lives being changed, but it becomes more challenging to minister to so many more people without additional resources. I haven't heard about any provisions for young churches in poor college towns in all the talks about the new stimulus plan.

All of that is why this verse jumped out at me. Could you imagine having to cut people off because they were giving too much? I've never heard of that in any church (though I do know of one in Dallas that only takes an offering every six weeks because, and I quote, "money's the easiest thing to find around here."). I've heard of churches doing series on giving when budget's not being met. I've heard stories of pastor's pleading for more money in order to not close the doors. At a conference a couple of weeks ago I heard about churches borrowing money to keep the bills paid. All of those scenarios make me sad. Is this story from Exodus unrealistic? How far are we from that happening.

I think even in a bad economy, this could be a reality. Over and over again in this part of Exodus, the people gave because their hearts were stirred to give. They weren't giving out of obligation, they were giving out of guilt, they were giving because their hearts were stirred, and they were delighted to be a part of what God was building. We also see that they gave as they were able. People who had money gave money. People that could sew offered sewing. Construction dudes built stuff. Artists and decorators gave their services to God. In beautiful detail, we have descriptions of the fruit of their labor. We contrast this with feeling obligated to give our 10% so that we will be "blessed" or "obedient." These offerings in this passage were not their tithe. What we fail to see in our time is that tithing is not some major sacrifice for the Kingdom of God. Tithing is the minimum. Tithing is "housekeeping" according to my friend Norman. When we see the generosity of our forefathers in Exodus, we should be challenged to not be content with tithing, but we should search our hearts to see what else we can give. Some can give a lot of money, others can give what they do, others can give time. We were created to glorify and worship God, and that opportunity includes how we give and volunteer.

I'm now praying that a day will come in our church where we can say, "that's enough." We really don't need any more money. Or, what if we were able to take most of our offerings and give them away because it was too much for us? That's the Kingdom. I pray that we would listen to our hearts and respond in generosity, respond in giving. I believe that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I believe that He still stirs our hearts today as He did then. I believe that even when it seems like we should be storing away for the tough times ahead that we would invest in the Kingdom with our money, talents, and time. I believe we could see it... "Thank you for your offerings, but we've got enough." How awesome would that be?

Hurdles

2009-01-13T15:07:00.000-08:00

For our nearly 4 1/2 years at River Stone, our insurance situation has been unstable at best. We started a church with no financial backing and were willing to make whatever sacrifices were necessary to do what God has called us to do. Insurance has been something we've sacrificed off and on just to make ends meet. These days, things are better, and the church is in a position to help out with that expense, So, I began insurance shopping. I filled out the online application and waited to hear from them. They called to ask about Jacob's allergies. I explained the situation, and they acted like it was no big deal. He takes Claritin from time to time so he won't sneeze. No big deal. A few more days, and we still haven't heard anything. So, today I called to see what the deal was... I found out that Jacob was approved with a 20% increase in the premium because he's allergic to stuff, but Holly and I were denied. I inquired as to why, and I'm still beside myself ... "You're expecting a baby." "Because you're adopting, we treat that as if you were pregnant, and we don't cover maternity, and we're required to add your new baby within 30 days, and we're not willing to take that risk. " Really?!?! I argued and complained, but couldn't get her to stray from the script.

Adoption is this crazy thing. We've begun to walk through these steps - making sure our house is in order, preparing for a home study, networking and trying to find out which means you want to use to connect with your baby, praying that God would bring you the right baby at the right time in the right way according to His will, and dealing with the fact that this could cost you in the $10,000-$20,000 range. Then you wonder about the birth mom and the health of the baby. You wonder what race, what gender, what personality, how will Jake do as a big brother? Every day walking, praying, waiting, and thinking about all of the hurdles you have to jump over to come to the place of bringing a baby home. It was a hurdle to move Jacob's room so that we can start to get a nursery ready. It's a hurdle to brainstorm fundraising ideas. It's a hurdle to put your life on hold because it's better to prepare for a new baby. There are so many hurdles. I never in my wildest of dreams would've guessed that adopting would cost us our opportunity to get health insurance. I know the insurance world is very broken, but are you kidding me?

The Lord is faithful, and He always comes through for us, but I am so irritated about having to jump over a hurdle I thought we were already over. But, since when do things happen like I expect them to happen anyway? None the less, I'm angry and trying to understand a world that punishes you for wanting to bring home a baby that needs a home. For the love!

Bigger and Better

2009-01-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

This morning I was preaching on Joshua chapter one where Joshua takes over after the death of Moses. I talked about how God's plan and promise is bigger than any one person. The vision of every church should be bigger than any one leader can accomplish. We should be leading our churches with future generations in mind. If our churches don't outlast us, then we're doing something terribly wrong.

A couple of years ago, Norman took Holly and I to the Chichester Catherdral in the UK. On the wall was this plaque with all of the Bishops/Pastors. The one at the very top lists S. Wilfrid as the Bishop of this church in the year AD 680. The most astounding thing is that the ministries of this church are alive and well today. 1500 years of ministry. 1500 years of the Gospel being preached in one place.

I like to keep our 4 years of River Stone in perspective. It's been a great ride, but we've got a long way to go. God's plan is bigger and better than what we could ever plan for ourselves.

Opportunity Missed

2009-01-02T09:10:00.000-08:00

Pizza on my birthday is a tradition that started with visitng my Grandparents most Christmases in Minnesota. White Christmases with my Grandpa Norman reading the Christmas story are occasions I will cherish forever and never forget. My birthday is the day after Christmas, and my family would always take me out for pizza at Angeno's. It was always very special for me having the same cast of characters who came together the day before come together again to celebrate with me. This year, I thought I didn't care very much about celebrating my birthday. We had Holly's extended family's Christmas time on the night of my birthday - which was great. So, we went and had wings for lunch (always a great birthday option). When some of my Minnesota family members left me facebook birthday messages, they mentioned pizza. I began to regret the fact that I chose wings over pizza. So, last night we made up for it. We went to Mangia's in Austin for my birthday pizza. It was truly a pizza pie, and it was delicious. Holly and her mom ordered a pizza to share that they messed up. The waitress told them to eat on the messed up one if they wanted and that she would bring the right one at no charge. So, they did, and we ended up with a whole pizza to go. I put the pizza in the back as we drove down to Mozart's for dessert and then on to Westgate for a movie.

I don't know about you, but I always struggle with how to react to someone who approaches me asking for money when I'm getting out of my car. I wrestle with my call to take care of the poor, to help the helpless, to demonstrate the love of Jesus. Am I enabling? Am I really helping? What's the best scenario for this person at this time? If I have change in my pocket or some cash, I will typically give something. Many times it will be a fluke that I even had anything to give, and I count it as a sovereign moment. Other times, I don't have anything to give and respectfully decline. Last night, as I was getting Jacob out of the car, we were approached by a homeless lady asking for help with food. Immediately I became a victim of my own thought processes... do I, don't I...errrr... I had no cash, no change, and I even pre-paid for my movie tickets online. I didn't think I could help this lady, so I apologetically declined.

This morning, I brought a couple of boxes of books to the office that had been in the car for most of the week. When I opened the back, I found the to go box with a whole pizza in it. My heart sank. I still feel horrible. She asked for food, and I had a whole pizza in the car from one of the best places we've ever been to. It didn't even cross my mind. So, I use this today as a sort of public confession. Out of my abudance, I had the opportunity to feed the hungry, and I dropped the ball. Thank God my ommission is met by His tender grace, but I hate that I missed an opportunity to bring the Kingdom.

Concerned About Division

2008-11-02T20:30:00.000-08:00

As I was voting last week, behind me a fight broke out. It wasn't a physical fight, but it was a definite verbal fight. The volunteers were being nazi-like in their enforcement of the no cell phone or electronic device rule. They said there were signs posted, but there were none. I only know this because I too was a victim of a volunteer with 10 minutes of power rebuking me for disregarding the sign that didn't exist. I was somehow able to not give him the tongue-lashing I had come up with in my heart. The guy behind me wasn't able to show this type of restraint, and a pretty impressive argument ensued. I'm not really into politics, and these thoughts are not political suggestions or proclamations. They are just some of my attempts to resolve my own political tensions.

I walked away completely frustrated with my voting experience, and I've been able to work through some thoughts since then. First of all, the past 20 months of campaigning have forced most of our nation into a corner. It's created a huge us vs. them mentality. Parties have divided people. More than that, it's caused people to decide that they're better than other people based on who they feel should be elected. Tensions are high as a divided people anticipate the arrival of the new "Savior" to occupy the oval office. I worry about the post-election fallout. What happens when someone loses? Will the people who so violently oppose a certain candidate really be able to line up under their authority should they win? I know this happens to a degree after every election, but it seems this time it's going to be worse this time around.

A nation divided against itself will not stand. As different camps have magnified what all the disagreements are, I wonder if we'll be able to recover and unite with what we have in common. I wonder if people will be able to come out of their corners and embrace whoever the "losers" are in this election. I realize that the "under God" part is already a problem with those who oppose a belief in God. Are we now on the verge of losing the "one nation" bit as well?

I was just trying to do my part to be a responsible citizen and vote my conscious and convictions, but I walked away not feeling like I had done anything to make my country a better place. I left concerned about the tension that exists in our land. If our hope is really in either one of these two men running for office, God help us.

Grandma Freda's Eulogy

2008-09-19T11:58:00.001-07:00

EULOGY
Freda Ruth Peters (January 13, 1927 - September 15, 2008)
September 17, 2008 - Wichita, Kansas
by Jason Bollinger (Grandson)

I’m going to do my best to Eulogize Grandma Freda, but I don’t eulogize very often, and there’s a good chance that this will become sermon number one with sermon number two coming from J.C. in a little while.

The word Eulogy comes from the Greek word “Eulogia” which means simply to praise. While it is appropriate to come together to honor our grandmother and to praise her in one sense, it is more appropriate to give praise to God for Freda Ruth Peters. There are things in her life to be praised, and there are things in her life that cause us to praise God. We’ll start with her.

Grandma Freda endured a lot. She endured the loss of a husband prematurely to cancer. She endured being a single mom to three young daughters. She endured a fire in her home. She endured living alone for the better part of 50 years. She endured many other losses in her life. We praise her for her ability to endure.

Freda was ambitious. Her ambition often got the best of her as she was ambitious for more than what she could accomplish on her own. This caused her much grief in her life, but it is something that we all can learn from. We should be ambitious for more than what we can accomplish on our own.

She wanted the best for each us. Though that best was often at odds with the best we wanted for our life. She loved each of us and wanted us to be happy.

Grandma was creatively giving. She would give constantly. When she had money to give, she would give it. When she didn’t have money to give, she would give it. She would give to her own detriment, but her generous heart is worthy to be praised.

There are some other things in her life which I feel give us an opportunity to praise God for.

First of all, Grandma was passionate about generations. In recent years we remember Christmas cards with “Four Generations” plastered across it. There was nothing more exciting to her than being the matriarch of four generations. We praise God for this because He is a God of the generations. His will and plans are not limited to one generation, but they are formed with future generations in mind. Think of all the ministries and all the good that the generations linked to Freda Peters are a part of. We are here because of her, by marriage or by birth, we exist because of her. If it were not for her, none of us would be here, and because of her we are able to celebrate what God is doing through the generations of this family.

I praise God for the legacy that is growing from Grandma Freda. As we have just observed a changing of the guard in the matriarch position of our family, we appreciate a strong, Godly covering. We see in Susie, Grandma’s leadership, we see in Christy, Grandma’s honesty, and we see in Terie, Grandma’s prophetic-ness. We see a legacy that reflects that character of God. It excites me to know that the great grandkids, Jacob, Anna, Evie, and Ike, won’t have to struggle through some of the hard times with Grandma, they will just appreciate the family they are apart of and will recognize her as the one who God used to bring it to be. Recently Jacob asked for a new puppy. We looked at some online, and our conclusion was that we didn’t have enough money for that right now. A few days later, Jacob said, “Daddy, when we get rich, can we get a new puppy?” I asked him his plan for how we were going to get rich. His reply was, “You can get a job.” I did my best to explain to my son that I have a job, but he wasn’t buying it. Because our church meets in one place and my office is at another place, he doesn’t think that I work at the church. He knows that computers are a source of video gaming, and he’s seen me at my office “working” on my computer, and his conclusion is that I just play games. Since the kids are dismissed before I preach on Sunday, my son figured it out... I just need to get a job. After I pleaded my case and gave evidences of my employment, I asked again what his plan for getting rich was. He replied, “ Grandma Freda can give us the money.” Jacob’s experience with Grandma revolved much around envelopes with cash in it, boxes with some of his favorite things, and a trip to Walmart resulting in a new toy. Grandma Freda had provided him with monetary things he really enjoyed. Tonight, I celebrate the idea that already, the fourth generation remembers her for something we never will - money. Her legacy will be strong.

We also need to praise God for the tension that we have in our relationship with Grandma. Over the years we have suffered many misunderstandings due to this person we are honoring tonight. Many comments were made at our expense that were hurtful or confusing - at the very least misunderstood. Tension was often the result of a conversation gone bad. However, before we write the tension off as a bad thing, I just want to say that Jesus was a character who was surrounded by tension and misunderstanding. He said things like, “He who wants to find his life will lose it” “The first shall be last,” “Love those who persecute you,” etc. Grandma Freda loved those who persecuted her and often persecuted those who loved her, but this tension is not something that we should rush to resolve because this tension is something that helps us draw near to God. Donald Miller said, “I never liked Jazz music because it didn’t resolve.” We don’t need to rush to resolution when it comes to saying goodbye to Grandma, because the tension that we’ve experienced makes us appreciate her even more. More importantly, it can remind us the tension surrounding the Son of God whom we follow. We need to praise God for the tension, the misunderstandings, and the lack of resolution.

We can also praise the Lord for His sovereignty. Scripture teaches us to take both good and bad as being from the hand of the Lord, and we’ve all experienced both in our relationship with Grandma Freda. She experienced both throughout her entire life. What we need to remember is that God, in His sovereignty, brought Freda Ruth Peters into existence, as a part of His plan for each of us (and the future generations) to be a part of bringing Him glory forever and ever.

I would now like to read Psalm 145:

1 I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
2 Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
3 Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.

4 One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
5 On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
6 They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds,
and I will declare your greatness.
7 They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness
and shall sing aloud of your righteousness.

8 The Lord is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
9 The Lord is good to all,
and his mercy is over all that he has made.

10 All your works shall give thanks to you, O Lord,
and all your saints shall bless you!
11 They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom
and tell of your power,
12 to make known to the children of man your [2] mighty deeds,
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures throughout all generations.

[The Lord is faithful in all his words
and kind in all his works.] [3]
14 The Lord upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food in due season.
16 You open your hand;
you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
17 The Lord is righteous in all his ways
and kind in all his works.
18 The Lord is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desire of those who fear him;
he also hears their cry and saves them.
20 The Lord preserves all who love him,
but all the wicked he will destroy.
21 My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.

In closing, and in the spirit of praise, I would like to say something that Grandma didn’t get to say, and that is Thank You. Thank you to each of you in Wichita who sacrificed so much to take Grandma in. She wasn’t happy about not being on her own, and I’m not sure she ever made the transition, but it was the right thing to do. You guys took her in, showed tremendous love to her in very trying times. You’ve modeled something that we will hold in high esteem forever. You’ve honored her in a way that is truly reflective of the grace and mercy of our Savior. I praise God for you and for the love you showed her, and for the inspiration you’ve provided for our family. Thank you.

Prayer of Praise...

They're Back...

2008-08-25T13:26:00.001-07:00

All of the sudden my in-town commutes have doubled in length of time, it takes twice as long to go to HEB, and the population of our town has doubled in size. While many people in our town complain and are annoyed by the presence of the Texas State Students, I'm happy to be inconvenienced.

There is an energy and excitement to this place that the summer lacks. Last night we were on campus at a shin-dig that invites campus organizations to set-up a table. We met a lot of people, and it was fun to have new faces around. Our church attendance increased by 25-30%, and there were a lot of new faces there as well. I'm so grateful to be in a place where the ebb and flow and college life have such a big influence on our ministry. We're excited about this semester, and we'll be allotting more time for our in-town activities until Christmas.

River Stone Movers Rock

2008-07-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

In recent months, I've found myself more and more proud of being the pastor of River Stone Community Church. Time and time again, the people of River Stone step up to reach out to either help one of our own or someone in the community in need. Last night, we functioned as a moving company.

A single mom in our church accepted a new job that provides housing. So, she told Brian of her plans to hire movers to move her and her kids into their new place. He asked if I thought there was something we could to help. I committed our assistance, but at that point I had no idea who would help. I sent out an e-mail asking for help from our Overflow Group. After receiving some commitments, we found out that the day I had arranged was not feasible because the new place would not be ready. So, at the last minute, I changed the date. Quite a few of the key people I originally had in mind weren't able to make it. About 10 of us showed up to help. Our caravan consisted of 3 pickups, 2 trailers, and 3 SUV's. With the assistance of the family of 3, we moved all of their stuff out of the old house and into the new house in a little over 3 hours, and that includes 30 minutes of eating pizza. Big stuff, small stuff, boxes, odds and ends masterfully loaded (with nearly no wasted space) and transported. I am so impressed and so proud. The single mom kept asked what she should be doing, and I kept telling her to get out of the way. She didn't know what to do. I inwardly boasted about the Kingdom of God being put on display right before my eyes.

Also, when she told her realtor what was happening, she decided to make an appearance to see first hand what was going. She couldn't believe all the help this family was getting, and the single mom said she had never moved so quickly.

I know this seems like a little thing, but it really made me appreciate the heart of our church and the people God has blessed us with. I was so blessed to be able to help. I've never had so much fun moving, and I think it must have been working for the good of the Kingdom with people that I really enjoy being around.

I hope that we continue to have opportunities to consider other better than ourselves and to demonstrate the love of God to those around us. Thanks for reading. God Bless You!

Amazing Video

2008-07-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

I'm normally not a big fan of forwarding things, but when I watched this video I cried like a little girl. I thought I would share it. I'm not sure I've ever seen love like this. Peace.

Since I am apparently not smart enough today to embed, click here for the video.

California Day 2

2008-06-26T21:51:00.000-07:00

Day 2, June 26, 2008 - Napa Valley

We got a good night’s sleep, not a long night’s sleep, but we slept well in our “green” bed that’s actually a very sterile white. We took our time getting ready and realized that the most important stop of this day would be Starbucks. We grabbed our lattes and were off to the Napa Valley. It only took us about 20 minutes to get into the heart of wine country. It was truly amazing how many vineyards there are. Big ones, small ones, fancy ones, simple ones. There are hundreds of them.

We started off in St. Helena at V. Sattui. This was also our favorite of the day. The main building of the winery was breathtaking. It was a four story building that we could have stared at all day. We had a picnic lunch in front of it after walking around and seeing everything we could see. They had an authentic Italian meat and cheese market which looked like something out of a movie. We shared an amazing, and I mean amazing Black Forest Ham Sandwich with smoked cheddar and chutney. We added a side of pesto pasta, and of course, a bunch of locally grown V. Sattui green grapes. It was all very good. The grapes really did taste different here. After that, we headed north on Highway 29 and came immediately to Sutter Home.

We weren’t expecting much at Sutter Home. The outside wasn’t near as elaborate as V. Sattui, but they had a nice house that was also an inn, but the cool stuff was reserved for inn guests only. We went through the gift shop and found the cutest little bottles of wine that we snatched up for some of our friends. We then came to the wine tasting counter, and we discovered that Sutter Home gives you samples for free. So we tasted about 8 different kinds of wine. A taste is really just a taste, not by any means a glass, and they hooked us up. They were supposed to give us a choice of 4 different kinds, but they kept asking if we would like to try all these different kinds. We learned that a reserve wine is made specifically from grapes on sight, and it is different from the wine that they ship out to the rest of the country. The reserve white zinfandel was our favorite, but we really enjoyed all of them. We browsed around the store, and headed further north. We didn’t spend as much time at any of the other places as we spent at these two.

Up the road, we went to the Behringer winery, and the Culinary Institute of America (which was a very impressive place). Holly wanted to check out some of the places that “A Walk in the Clouds” was filmed, and we found Charles Krug and Duckhorn wineries. Charles Krug was under construction, but Duckhorn was the first winery where we actually got close to grapes. We are officially enthralled with vineyards. After going to these places, we went on a hunt for the house seen in the new Parent Trap movie. Holly remembered that it was in Rutherford. So, we typed Rutherford into Gigi and she took us to what turned out to be one of the coolest stops of the day - the Rutherford Hill winery. This winery was off the beaten path, and the view was incredible. You could see the whole valley from this place. After walking around a bit, we ventured into the store and asked the gentlemen behind the counter about the house we were looking for. As it turns out, one of the guys lived on the same street as the house we were looking for. Needless to say, our directions were quite good, and we drove right up to this house which was very fun. This was Holly’s highlight today. It was a very beautiful house.

We made our way into downtown Napa around dinner time to find a place to eat. We made an attempt to eat at Copia, which is where Julia Child’s restaurant is, but we thought it a bit pricey. So, we went down the road and found a very cool street festival going on. We walked through and found a cool little Italian place called Piccolino’s. We ate Italian, and sat by the windows and watched the locals. After dinner we stopped by some of the booths and sampled peaches, dips, peanut brittle, and Greek yogurt. We purchased some kettle corn, chocolate covered strawberries, and cabernet flavored fudge. Delicious.

We came home, webcammed with Jacob and Carol for a bit, uploaded our 259 pictures, yes 259 (we did delete a couple, but not many) from the day to the computer, and dropped in the hot tub before retiring to the room - which is where we currently find ourselves. All in all a very productive, relaxing, and fun day.

We spent all day looking at grapes, and on tap for tomorrow.. more grapes. We’ve got another full day of grapes planned, but we’ll wait until tomorrow’s blog to tell you about that.

California Day 1

2008-06-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

Day 1, June 25, 2008 - Austin/Oakland/San Francisco

After taking up the better part of three days of taking Jacob to Burleson, doing laundry, packing, and crossing things off of our work lists, we were ready to go. Our personal sky hop (Lance) picked us up just before 5pm and took us to Austin to catch our flight. We were amazed at how few people were at the airport. We breezed through checking our baggage and security. Upon checking the monitor, we found our flight to be delayed about a half hour. It actually ended up being more like 45 minutes. So, we got some tea (I had iced and Holly had chai) and some pumpkin bread and awaited our departure.

The flight was fine, but at one point, we looked at each other and said the same thing, “Do you feel like there’s a lot going on in this plane.” It seemed like we were the only ones not moving about the cabin. We read, I snoozed a bit, and we landed in Oakland about 9:45 after circling around the bay area for an added 15 minutes (probably because our plane was late). After waiting what seemed like an eternity for our baggage, we snatched it up, got on a Rental Car Shuttle, and bussed 5-10 minutes away, picked up our luxurious, light blue Kia Spectra, and were off to the hotel, which according to GPS was only about 40 minutes away.

So, we drove from Oakland (which one of the first things we passed was the A’s stadium - very cool) Northbound. We saw what we thought was the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance, but was actually the San Francisco Bay Bridge. It was huge, and thanks to not understanding what Gigi (my cell phone GPS) was telling me, I ended up on the road that took us to the bridge. It was a $4 toll to go across, but we were stuck. It was beautiful, and we ventured just a bit into San Fran before we turned around and got to drive back over the bridge, but on the bottom of it this time. We got some cool pics, and I’m lucky to still have my sight after all the flash bulbs Holly instigated. Anyway, we were back on track after that, and it was only about 45 minutes to our hotel which is at the “Gateway” of Napa.

We checked in right at midnight. Our hotel is new and boasts in being a “Green Hotel”. They have monitors displaying their energy consumption at all times. It’s pretty cool. There was a bit of confusion when we checked in because we paid for a King room with a “Lagoon View”, but we didn’t get one, and they didn’t have any available. So, we’re stuck with a plain King room - which is still quite nice and big, but not what we expected - which seems to happen to us on every trip we take. Oh, well. It was disappointing, but not the end of the world. Apparently, elevators are not green because there’s not one that we can find. After lugging our stuff up the stairs we arrived at room 245 (The Nighthawk Room), and to our surprise, Lance and Christina had ordered a bottle of Sparkling Wine for our anniversary. It was sitting on or table, chilling in a bucket of ice with two wine glasses and a card that read “Happy Anniversary from the Yarbough Family”. It was a great surprise! We dropped our stuff and went to Walmart (which is like 30 seconds away) to grab a couple of things we needed and some sandwiches b/c we were starving. After scouting out some of the vineyards Holly wants to go to, we got to bed around 2 local time which felt like 4am because of the time change. But I must admit, the king-size “green” bed and comfy pillows were mighty inviting after a long journey to Cali.

National Doughnut Day

2008-06-06T08:15:00.001-07:00

In case you didn't know, a couple of Fridays ago was National Doughnut (or Donut) day. One of the highlights in my life of the past couple of years is regular donut dates with my boy, Jacob. If it were up to him, we would go every day. On my days off, or a lot of Saturdays, we try to let Mommy sleep in and we head to Shipley's for donut goodness. Jacob rotates between cherry, strawberry, and chocolate (all with sprinkles). My staple is the jalapeno sausage and cheese kolache. Jacob always likes to sit on the barstools (unavailable on Doughnut Day due to high traffic). On the barstools, we sit, spin, talk about life, look at the pictures in the newspaper, talk about what new movies he wants to see and usually run into someone we know. On this particular day, we wondered why there was a line to the door. It was the first Friday of summer for San Marcos students, and we thought it might be that was cause for doughnut celebration. So, I consulted the Blackberry browser and discovered we were a part of a worldwide event. In many places, the doughnut places were giving money to charity on doughnut day, but not ours - anyway - I digress...

The point, my friends is this... I could care less about doughnut day or most other holidays for that matter (especially those created by Hallmark and other marketing geniuses who make me feel guilty for not giving cards on random days throughout the year), but Jacob doesn't miss an opportunity to celebrate. When we found out, I think his reaction went something like this, "TODAY IS DOUGHNUT DAY?!?!? DADDY, THAT'S AWESOME! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S DOUGHNUT DAY! I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL MOMMY WHEN WE GET HOME! I WISH EVERY DAY WAS DOUGHNUT DAY!" It's the same excitement I see when I come home. The same excitement about going to a movie, going to a friends house to play Wii, meeting new people, getting to go outside to play with Aaron, Ashley, and Bianca. Do you know that when we pull into our driveway, Jacob's neck is turned 180 degrees looking to see if the neighbors' garage doors are open (which means his friends are outside)? I know I'm going to have to change the name of my blog to what I learn about my faith through my son, but that kid loves life. He loves people. He loves to be with people he loves. He knows how to make people feel special. He doesn't see skin color (except when he referred to Cooper as a blackneck when I made a redneck joke in reference to Cooper's Nascar shade in Yarbough truck), doesn't care about age, doesn't care about differences, he just knows how to celebrate what God's put in his world. Whether it's doughnuts, Kung Fu Panda, Grandparents, friends across the street or at church, someone coming over, etc. I have a lot to learn about excitement, joy, and love from him.

Isn't it supposed to be me teaching him?

Moving On

2008-04-30T20:41:00.000-07:00

Last week Brian and I had the distinct honor of clearing out the storage facility we've had for the past year and a half. When we moved from our first location in the shopping center to the square, we had a lot of junk to store. In our best efforts to cut costs, we decided to get rid of the storage and get rid of some stuff, sell some stuff, and put the rest in places that don't cost money. While we were in the zone of cleaning stuff out, we decided that it was time to take down the River Stone sign that had flown high in the Crestwood Shopping Center for the past three years. This task has been on our list for the past year and a half. We kind of liked people just thinking that we were a multi-site church. In the first two pictures you can see Brian and John hanging the sign. I remember being so proud of that sign and letting the world know where we were. It was a strange feeling cutting it down and watching it descend to the ground.

The day ended up being a rather spiritual experience. We laid our eyes on things we didn't remember we had. Certain things reminded us of certain people who are no longer here, and that was sad. We remembered, reminisced, and re-evaluated whether or not we needed some of this stuff. It didn't take long to see how different our church is now. We have no use for most of the stuff we packed away a year and a half ago. We also had no use for a sign flying above a place we no longer meet in. It was a day to remember where we've come from, but more importantly it was a day to celebrate where we are and where we're going. There was a feeling of liberation - everything we were holding on to is now gone. Our chains are gone. We are free from the things that were holding us back, and we're focused on what's ahead and what we need in order to get where we're going. It was clear that the time to move on is now. While we never want to forget where we've come from, we also don't want to cling to the junk in storage or the sign keeping us focused on a season passed.

A new day has dawned, the old is gone and the new has come. I hope that we continue to clean out the closets of everything keeping us from moving on after the Holy Spirit and His plan for our church.

Before you came home...

2008-04-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of months I've been walking 4-5 mornings a week. I walk for 35-40 minutes, and I've used the time to get caught up on various sermons that I can never seem to find time to listen to during the day. As Holly and I have turned a corner of healthier living (now that we're both post 30), this has become a very enjoyable part of most of my days. Jacob is usually still asleep when I leave, and only a few times has he been awake when I walk in the door. A couple of other times he's been sitting on the porch with Shelby (the dog) waiting for me to get back.

Today, I was about halfway through my route deep into my sermon of choice when I noticed a little kid that looked a lot like my son walking toward me. Not only did it look like him, it was him. Three blocks away from our house (including a couple of turns), Jacob was walking down the sidewalk in his Old Navy Pajama pants - no shoes, no shirt, three blocks from home. I was shocked, stunned, furious, confused, relieved, and curious. I asked Jacob what he was doing. He said, "I just wanted to find you." I asked him how he knew where I was, and he proceeded to tell me my route (which he apparently memorized the one time he went with me on his scooter). I went on to say all of the fatherly things about how dangerous it was that he walked that far by himself, how he needed shoes and a shirt if he was going to walk that far, blah, blah, blah... Then I asked him why he didn't just wait for me to get home. I reminded him and reassured him that Daddy always comes home. He listened, thought about it, and replied, "I just wanted to see you before you came home."

I've notice a lot lately that I'm learning a lot from my son. I'm enjoying this stage more than any others as he's dialogging so honestly and thoroughly about life, God, friends, baseball, basketball, Mom & Dad, and so much more. As I was carrying him home this morning, I thought about how so many Christians live their physical lives content to wait for the day when their Father comes home. What if we went hard after our Father because we can't wait for Him to come home. We want Him now. We want to follow him now and be with him now. What if we had that type of urgency to go where God the Father is - where He's walking and moving. Jacob was so confident that he knew where I was. He had no doubt we would be where I was. He was so caught up in the moment of finding me that he didn't make any plans, didn't put on shoes or a shirt, he just went for it. It's not small thing that scripture teaches us to have the faith of a child. What if we didn't sit around waiting for Jesus to come back and went out where we know He's walking and join Him, walk with Him, let Him carry us home, all the while just being excited that we are with Him and becoming like Him.

It was a beautiful thing, it really was.

Something to Say...

2008-04-21T11:05:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, Brian and I were blessed by a friend of ours with tickets to go and sit under the teaching of John Eldredge who's written a new book entitled, "Walking with God." It was a great time, and it was very refreshing. The event was in The Woodlands, and I took the excuse of going to Houston as an opportunity to take some pianos the church has accumulated to my Dad for repair and to later sell. I dropped the pianos off and had lunch with my Dad. He had an appointment so I headed to the Woodlands for some needed time of study. I landed at a couple of different places over the next several hours. My final spot was a Starbucks (which didn't exist according to my GPS).

I ordered my skinny cinnamon latte and took out my bible and notebook. I sat down at the only available table in the place which was uncomfortably close to a couple who looked to be in their mid 50's. At first glance I didn't think anything odd about the couple, but within moments it was clear there was a problem. This couple was in the middle of a huge argument, and it was an argument that had to do with whether or not they should stay together. I am a compulsive eavesdropper, and I was hearing everything they were saying (as was the table furthest away from them due to the volume of this man). I heard him drop God's name and God's will. I heard him attack her level of faith. I heard him validate his job and insult hers. I heard him take credit for things and blame her for things. I heard him place the weight of their conflict on his broken wife. I sat there and felt very strongly that the Lord brought me to this location for this event. I was trying to find two other Starbucks listed on my GPS which apparently didn't, and I was on my way to another one two miles down the road. Then, I saw this one. Could it be a coincidence that I was here for just a time as this. Two Christians struggling in their marriage, talking openly and honestly, even mentioning maybe they need to talk to a pastor. I thought to myself, "It's good that I'm here." I listened and waited for my opportunity to approach this couple, but I didn't feel it. I tried really hard to focus on the section of Scripture that I was reading from my Life Journal. I searched intently for the "Word from the Lord" from these passages that would solve these peoples' marital problems. I prayed, I waited, I listened, I studied, and I looked for the right time to intervene. To the pleasure of most of the other people studying and reading, the couple decided to head outside. I knew they weren't leaving, and I was still confident my moment would come. As they fought outside, I stared. The wife knew I was staring. I knew she knew that I had something to say. I knew she was needing someone to stand up for her. I very badly wanted to be the guy, but as I prayed for something to say, I had nothing. Very rarely am I a person with nothing to say. I begged God for something to say. I was here. I was available. I had some time before it was time to meet Brian for dinner. I packed up my stuff and awaited my opportunity to speak truth in love. Then, my boldness turned into hesitance. My excitement turned to sadness. My zeal, to brokenness. I had nothing for these people. I couldn't come up with anything to say. I was trusting God, I was listening, I was available, and I had nothing. The couple walked off, and all I could do was pray for them in my heart.

My struggle is this. If this was someone in my church, I can guarantee there would've been no shortage of words. If this would've been my friends, I would've had plenty to say. When my parents marriage was falling apart and my Mom was really having hard times, I had a lot to say. But, in that Starbucks in the Woodlands, I had nothing to say. Even a few days later, I don't know what I was supposed to do. Maybe I was just supposed to pray. Maybe I was supposed to trust God more and just talk to them trusting that the Holy Spirit would fill my mouth with the right words like the apostles in Acts. All I've got is maybes.

In the end, though, I'm being confronted with evidence that this world needs the Gospel. It can't only work in the pulpit in church. It has to work in Starbucks in the Woodlands. It has to work in San Marcos on the Tball fields. It has to work in our homes with our families, hanging out with our friends, and in the streets with our neighbors. Again, I wish I was enlightened by some supernatural revelation, but I can't say that I was. I don't feel guilty about what happened, but I don't feel good either. I don't know what this means for you, but for me it means to be better prepared to speak on behalf of the Gospel whenever the Lord arranges for it to happen. It also means to be more aware of the power of prayer. I've prayed for that couple every day since. My heart still hurts for the pain and anguish. I don't know their names, but God does, and I am thankful for another opportunity to trust Him in a new way. Hopefully, next time I'll have something to say...

Jacob's Rush

2008-04-14T07:16:00.000-07:00

Lately I've found myself really enjoying my son. That's not to say that I didn't before, but it seems that overnight he's become this little man I can hold conversations with who asks about a question per second. These questions are mostly random with at least one an hour presenting me with some theological issue that I can't really answer. There may be future blogs about some of those questions, and there may be future blogs about the roller coaster experience that is our new found T-ball phase of life, but this one is about something different. Thanks for reading on...

A couple of weeks ago, our family (which again includes Ashley who's living with us), sat down to watch August Rush. This is a beautiful movie about a young boy with an extraordinary gift for music. He hears music in the wind, where he lives, in the city, etc. Orchestrations come to him with ease, and the movie includes his discovery of his abilities. I won't spoil it for you, but you should definitely rent it or put it on your Netflix list. After the movie, as the credits were rolling, and the movie score was playing, Jacob went and sat down at the piano. He was listening very intently to the music from the movie, and he began to play along. When I say play along, I mean that he played along. I'm not saying that he played what he heard note for note, but he played along. His ear kept him in the right key and he played sometimes with the melody and sometimes he was making harmony, but it was all right. It all fit. When he would accidentally hit a note that didn't work, he quickly changed it. Holly, Ashley, and I exchanged dumbfounded looks and could say nothing. It really was one of the most beautiful things we've ever seen. I had to shake my head and attempt to withhold tears.

As we've been studying Galatians, I find myself more and more free from sin, guilt, fear, and death, and more importantly I find myself strangely sensitive to the Gospel. It's interesting to me how much we try to control our Christian experience through discipline and routine. I think it's more appropriate for us to realize that God created and set this world into motion. It could not continue without his constant involvement and supervision of everything. We are dependent upon him for everything. His Spirit moves in us and speaks to us - all around us He is giving us opportunity to be His ambassadors, to live for His glory. The music is around us, the Gospel has been preached and is being preached in movies, in the streets, in our homes, at our jobs, at our schools, in coffee shops - everywhere. What if we just played along to the music that God is playing in the background? What if we realized when we stepped out of tune or hit a note in the wrong key and we quickly found ourselves back in sync with the score? It reminds me again of John 3-4 where Jesus encounters the woman at the well and Nicodemus and He says that following the Spirit is like the wind. It blows wherever it pleases. It goes where God wants it to go. What if we surrendered control of our spiritual lives and let the wind blow us and find our part in the greater musical score that is being played? What if followers of Christ were able to sync up with their Holy Spirit Rush? Jacob didn't make an announcement. He didn't read a book. He didn't ask permission. He heard the music, sat down, and played along. The music was much bigger than him. He didn't try to take it over. he didn't think he was making better. He just played along and contributed what he could. He played a part, and it was genuinely one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

I hope that we can discern the song the Spirit is playing all around us and play with Him, play in tune, play in rhythm, play an appropriate part, play like He's the conductor and we're the musicians, play like He's the Creator and we're the created, play with our hearts with our ears listening closely for where the Song is going and for what's coming next.

Thank you, Jesus for your Gospel that reveals itself everywhere.

My Cousin, the Doctor - on MIssion!

2008-03-03T08:31:00.001-08:00

There is nobody in my life that I am more proud of than my cousin, Chase. That's not to say that I'm not equally as proud of other family and friends, but I digress. Chase is a medical doctor who is currently in the second year of his residency in Waco. Chase has always felt as though medicine was a means by which he has an opportunity to serve the Kingdom. Chase and his lovely wife, Jenny, are both passionate about Spanish speaking mission opportunities, and they have served on both short and long term mission trips. Recently, they were given the opportunity to travel as a family to Ecuador, and they followed the call of God there for the month of March. I woke up Sunday to the following e-mail from Jenny. If you are led by the Spirit, I would love for you to join me in praying for their time away this month. Please read on...

We're here!  We arrived in Quito, Ecuador last night a little after 10pm, and made it to the guest house at 11pm or so.  Chase and Anna are still sleeping, but Evie gets up early no matter where she is  :) 

We're excited to see what God has in store for us during our month here.  As many of you in ministry may know, Satan can come at you HARD as you prepare to leave, and we have felt it.  I've shed many tears this week.  Chase hasn't slept much.  Anna is going to make it, and Evie is alive!  Here's a quick run-down of our last week or so...

Last Thursday Chase gets the flu.  He's not able to complete a shift of call at the hospital, and had to make it up Monday instead.  This set him back big time and he worked late every night of the week trying to get all of his charts and paperwork done before we left.  He slept about 5 hours Thursday night, and 3 hours Friday night.

My heart has been doing funny things a lot this month, and last week it became ridiculous.  Several times throughout the day I either had an irregular heart beat, or my heart would race at 150 beats per minute for 10-15 minutes at a time!  Wednesday it was racing almost constantly, and when Chase got home we went back to the clinic and he hooked me up to the EKG machine.  We caught some pretty crazy rhythms on paper, which is a praise because I've never been able to catch it.  A doctor there said it was not life-threatening, and that I wasn't going to drop of a heart attack.  This was enough for me.  We prayed against it that night and it was almost gone the rest of the week.  :)   Praise God!

Thursday morning I took off with the girls to do some last-minute Wal-Mart shopping, and Evie fell out of the cart.  Yes, she fell.  She was on top, and in a moment she was on her back on the floor.  Anna and I hit the floor, gathered her up, and I asked Anna to put a hand on her head while we prayed.  I cried out to Jesus in desperation as I watched the back of her head become red.  Several employees heard the crying and came to help out (a lot of excitement for Wal-Mart at 9am).  I asked a man for ice, but by the time the ice pack was ready the redness on Evie's head was GONE!  She was calm and playful.  In minutes.  There is no swelling, no redness, no bruise... she's gotten bruises on her head from crawling and running into furniture, but no bruise from falling 3 feet onto a cement floor.  PRAISE GOD!  Only the power of Jesus can explain something like that.  I'm SO thankful she's alive and well.  We went to the clinic to make sure all was okay.

BUT it was only a few hours before she developed a fever!  GOOD GRIEF!  So Friday we went to the clinic AGAIN to get her checked out AGAIN.  Her urine was clear (PRAISE GOD!) and her ears were clear - just a virus or the flu that daddy had a few days earlier.  She was hot until middle of yesterday, and seems great this morning.  She's eating animal crackers in my lap as I type.

Okay, so the last straw... Any of you that know Anna know that the thing she loves most in the world is her stuffed bunny rabbit.  In the terminal yesterday, about an hour before we boarded for Quito, rabbit went missing.  She was playing in a small area, just under the chairs in the waiting area, but he was gone.  Just like that.  Several people there with us helped us look, but we never found him.  This, honestly, is as much as a mystery to me as Evie's healing.  There's no where he could have gone!  And there were no other kids around that would have taken him!  So, we boarded the plane without him.  I think I've mourned him more than Anna, which is good.  And she went to sleep just fine without him last night, which is a huge praise!  But I feel like this huge part of her childhood is gone forever.  I'm tearing up as I type.  Anna's first spanish word was conejo! 

So we are thankful to be here.  Satan has played DIRTY this week, and I've seen for the first time how kids can suffer for Jesus.  But Jesus is worth it!  I learned a lot yesterday with the loss of Rabbit.  Jesus said to give up everything and follow him, and there were few things more valuable to us than that stuffed animal.  Can we really do it?  Can we really be willing to lose everything for the cause of Christ?  I'm crying again, all sacrifice and loss is so painful, but Jesus is the pearl of greatest price and we'd be fools to hold on to anything but him.

We are humbled, we are wounded, and God is already helping us to answer the questions we're seeking this month - could we do this?  Really?  Do we have what it takes to give it all up and live in a foreign place far from family, friends, and the comforts of home? 

Please pray for us this month!  Here are some key requests:
- That we would be open to all the Lord wants to teach us, and that we would hear his voice as we seek him. 
- The health of our family, especially the girls
- Chase's work in the hospital, and his ability to communicate in Spanish
- That we would be BOLD in sharing God's love with others.  I got to talk to a lady on the plane!  Yay!

Thanks all.  Please pass this on to anyone whose address I didn't include.  We'll get a better list together as the days go on.

We love you! 

Jenny, Chase, Susanna, & Evelyn

Chief of Sinners (and chapstick)

2008-01-29T15:08:00.001-08:00

As I've been studying Galatians, I'm more and more aware of my status as a sinner in need of a Savior. At our first River Stone on Campus, I introduced myself as the Chief of Sinners at River Stone Community Church. I said it partly to get a laugh, but partly out of reality. Our church is a church full of sinners, and I'm the lead sinner. For example...

This week I was making a grocery run. The line I was in was moving slowly (fyi - if the line wasn't moving slowly before, it would've diminished in speed the moment I stepped into it - it's a gift I have) and got long fast. When I was the next up for check-out, the manager waved me over to the register next to where I was. I backed up my cart, headed for the register and noticed in this motion that I forgot to get Chap Stick that my lips were screaming for. I grabbed the Chap Stick and proceeded to unload my groceries onto the conveyor belt (does anybody remember when you just pulled your cart up to the register and the checker unloaded your basket for you? - I digress.). I paid for my groceries and went home. After I unpacked them, I proceeded to empty out my pockets, and what did I find in my pocket but the un-paid-for tube of Chap Stick. That's right. I stole it. My heart sank. Immediately my flesh and the Spirit began to wrestle. "It's only 95 cents, and they've probably over charged you that much before", or "you've spent so much money there they owe it to you", or "God must've wanted you to have that Chap Stick." The Spirit quickly won and I was convicted to pay for the Chap Stick. I couldn't go right them, but the next time I went to the store, I had the guy scan a Chap Stick and then I put it back on the shelf. I then explained to him that I stole a tube a couple of days ago, and I'm not real sure what response I was expecting, but the one I got was, "Oh yeah, man that happened to me before." I was in good company.

Needless to say, I didn't think twice about accidentally swiping that Chap Stick, and I know you're saying, "A whole blog about a 95 cent tube of Chap Stick, really?" However, it made me more aware of my sinful nature. That one 95 cent sin is enough to eternally separate me from God. It was enough to invoke the full wrath of God on my life... if I didn't have a Savior who already paid for my sins with his blood. I'm so thankful to be a child of grace. It should've been me hanging on that tree, but Jesus took my place. He extended to me Good News... on my own, I'm a sinner in need of a Savior, and there's nothing I can do to save myself. God rescued me from my sin, my guilt, my fear, and my shame. It was a complete rescue that covers my stupidity and incidentals. I'm covered, I'm forgiven, and I'm free. It's a good thing, too, because despite my best efforts to stop, I keep sinning.

I'm just thankful, I guess, that God loves me enough to not only save me from death, sin, evil, and hell, but also from myself. After a whole lifetime of following Christ, I'm still a sinner in need of the Gospel. A tube of Chap Stick helped me remember that.

Pavarotti - Nessun Dorma

2007-12-20T08:02:00.001-08:00

So, sometimes Holly and i let the Ipod play when we're going to bed - especially if we find ourselves unusually stressed. Holly has compiled this playlist of "soothing" music. It's a diverse blend of various artists of different genres, and it has proved to be somewhat easy for me to fall asleep to. However, at some point, she added this song to it. It was somewhere in the middle of about 45 minutes worth of music. I began to notice that I wasn't sleeping well for a couple of weeks. Normally, I'm asleep about the time my head hits the pillow these days, but for some reason restlessness became the norm. In the midst of these period, I was having nightmares - bad ones. I would wake up angry or scared or nervous in the middle of the night. I was hearing strange noises. I was so annoyed at my recent inability to rest well.

I told Holly that the Pavarotti song had to go. She protested and kindly and lovingly told me that I was crazy and defended the beauty and integrity of the music. I endured it for a bit longer, and reiterated my inability to sleep to this music. She obliged and I removed the song. Later, I decided to investigate why these Italian lyrics brought so much unrest to my soul. Come to find out, the title in English is "No One Sleeps". So much made sense.

Needless to say, ever since, sleep has not been interrupted by the aforementioned playlist.

There is probably spiritual significance related to this that allows me to pursue the fullness of God, but I'll let you draw your own conclusions...

Pain.

2007-12-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

It's been far too long between blogs (as usual), and I'm sad to say that this expression is more about my need to express rather than my desire to share.

The events of the past three weeks have been the worst of my life, and this is my first attempt to unpack it. It will in all reality be too long for a blog, but I'm going for it anyway. Here goes...

Holly and I lost a baby last week. We found out the Monday before Thanksgiving that she was pregnant, but immediately the doctor was concerned about an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy. There is no definitive way to determine whether or not the baby is ok until an ultrasound can be done which is around the 4-6 week mark. In other words, all we could do was wait. It was so hard. We so badly wanted to celebrate the miracle of conception, but we tried to keep ourselves grounded in the reality that we may never see this baby. As the weeks progressed, no news seemed to be good news. Holly's symptoms were becoming less like an ectopic and more like a normal pregnancy. Her pregnancy hormone level was on the rise like it should be and all was well. We knew we weren't in the clear yet, but we felt God preparing our miracle. Finally, the doctor gave us a glimmer of hope, stating that she felt as though this was a normal pregnancy. However, when she called the next day, the report was that the hormone level had gone down. Which is medical speak for, "your baby is dead." They asked us to come in the next day just to be sure. During this, our church was praying, but I had no idea what to ask them to pray for. Pray for a miracle? Perhaps. My mustard seed faith has no issue believing that God can raise the dead. That's all he does is change the old for new. That certainly would've been easy for him to pull off in Holly's womb. However, sometimes the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. For three weeks we lived in the uncertainty of these two extremes. We wanted to rejoice for the miracle, but we were content to trust God in the valley of the shadow of death. We were preparing ourselves for both, but as the news was getting better, our hopes were rising. With e-mails of prayer and support, we were trusting God, with testimonies of visions/dreams, we trusted even more. It sure did seem like God was going to use this for his glory. It was the next chapter in the River Stone Miracles storybook. We trusted God even after the phone call of bad news. We were praying for a miracle, and so were many of you. The much anticipated follow-up phone call reported that the pregnancy hormone level had gone down significantly. The report was that this was not a viable pregnancy and that we could expect the physical symptoms of miscarriage over the weekend. They were right.

I've never thought lightly of miscarriages. Reports of them from friends and family have always sparked emotions of sadness and brokenness. What I didn't anticipate was the pain in the pit of my stomach. In Biblical times, they would say that the center of their emotions was not their heart, but their bowels. I understood why. Immediately I was nauseous. Immediately, my entire body ached. Immediately we were walking through the valley of the shadow of death. We got the phone call at about 11am, and I had a lunch appointment at 12:00 that was 20 minutes away. Holly and I talked about the news we'd received and expressed our disappointment and contentment. We understood that though this was incredibly difficult, it was still sovereign. We actually do believe that all things do work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose. We didn't doubt God's plan for our lives, and we weren't even angry with God. We just began to feel for the first time in three weeks, and instead of anticipation and joy of another child, we felt the loss of one. I managed to get 10 minutes up the road before my tears hindered my ability to see beyond the windshield. I knew this was a possibility. I knew this could've happened. I tried to prepare myself for this, but it was to no avail. As I was driving, I thought for the first time, "So this is what pain is." I rarely listen to Christian radio, but it was on in the car, and I heard God speaking to me. The songs on the radio were mostly River Stone worship staples, and one that I didn't particularly like when I heard it before. However, the lyric included, "I don't pretend to know the pain you're going through... but there's a light at the end of the tunnel." In my pain, God was there. It was interesting though, because even though I knew He was there, He wasn't making me feel any better. I went on to have lunch and encourage one of my friends whose wife cheated on him. It was not my favorite afternoon. After lunch, I went back home. On the way, more songs, more of God's presence, more tears, and more pain.

It was an uncomfortable place to be in. My job is to pray. My job is to tell other people how to pray. My job is to intercede and be strong and rejoice with those who rejoice and grieve with those who grieve. In recent months, we've stared death and ferocious tumors in the face and called on the name of the Lord and came out victorious, but in my own life, a crushing defeat was given. The prayers of many answered with a resounding, "No." My job is to comfort those in pain, but I had no comfort to offer myself.

The leaders of our church are going through a process of pruning. We've always felt like that it's more important to have a church that's Kingdom minded than a church that is it's own Kingdom. We don't self-promote. We don't boast about ourselves. We don't pretend like we're a big deal when we're not. We simply want to be used by God to usher His Kingdom in to San Marcos as it is in heaven. We want to be major players in the Kingdom more than we want book deals and for people to come to our conference. Our desire is fruit, and I'm not talking only about a room full of people. I'm talking about fruit. Fruit that will last. Fruit that will taste good to our community. The problem is that pruning is an important part of the fruit process. I wish I was on the other side seeing that the pain was necessary for the blessing that was to come. I think I'm even trusting God for that, but I simply can't see past the pain.

A friend of mine suggested that perhaps the Lord is displeased with us, and I began to consider the option. However, a few days later, I feel like it's not really about that, it's about character. It's about the glory of God in the pain and suffering. It's about testing. It's about seeing what we're made of. The weight of the past few months has truly been enough to consider quitting and going and getting a job at a big church where at least I'm getting paid well if there's any suffering. But, as we've talked through some of this, I think that we're going to come out stronger. I think that no weapon formed against us shall prosper. I think we're going to stand against the schemes and plans of the evil one. I think we're going to learn to pray more consistently, more efficiently, and more effectively. I think we're going to experience miracles. I think we're going to experience an outpouring of prayer and intercession. I think we're going to see the Kingdom. I don't understand why pain, loss, and suffering are necessary for experiencing the fullness of God. I don't understand, but that's what I read in the Epistles. We are never closer to God than when we suffer, according to Scripture. So, here's the struggle. I've never been closer to God, but I've never felt further away. Could it be that following Christ is not about feeling good about anything, but seeing very clearly that I truly need Him to help me take another breath because I don't necessarily feel like taking it right now? Could it be that following Christ is actually letting go and seeing that He won't? I've experienced a difference in speaking things that I know are true, and crying out those same things in desperation. For example, I've always been moved by the lyrics from Matt Redman's "You Never Let Go," but Sunday I had to sing them as my only hope. Or should I say scream them through the tears, because I'm pretty sure that notes were not what was coming out of my mouth. Pain was coming out. Raw emotion. Noise that wasn't joyful, but sorrowful. For the first 10 minutes of Brian's message, I was in the back of our facility, in the dark, with my head down, crying. For what? I don't even know. Just because it hurts.

So, right now, I'm trying to rejoice in our sufferings, but I don't feel very happy. I'm trusting God for healing, but I don't feel very healed. I'm praying to God that He would somehow get glory for this in our lives and church, but I don't know how. More importantly, I'm trying to get through one more day despite the ache in my soul from losing my unborn child. However, if there were no death, then life would mean very little, and recently I'm comforted by my Great High Priest who actually gave Himself up to be killed so that others could live. I'm reminded of the words that I preached from Joseph - what was meant for evil, God uses for salvation. We're never closer to Christ than when we're suffering. I wish I knew how. I wish I could feel it. I wish it made sense, but here I find myself at a place that all I can do is trust God to get me through the end of a day.

I think the only moral at this point is to be careful what you preach. God in his grace will make sure that you are given an opportunity to see if you're full of crap or not. I wonder if that's why so many preachers preach such an easy Gospel. I know I preach a hard Gospel - hard even for me to have to live up to it. So hard that it cost me something... maybe even everything. So hard, that I have to talk to my son about the goodness of God in a tragic situation. So hard, that I've had to depend on those close to me to help me make decisions that I can normally make with no problem. It's hard to follow Christ. It would be easier to quit, but then death couldn't be used for life. It's hard enough for friends to be there even though they don't know what to say. Hard enough for the simplest of hugs to have a profound impact on my life (thank you, Jessica). Hard enough for me to ask if it's even worth it. Hard enough to make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. It's hard. I'm grateful for a hard Gospel. I'm grateful to have to live it out. I'm grateful that the relationships we've poured into for the past three years have poured back into us. I'm grateful for the strength of our extended families and the e-mail from cousins that have had profound impacts. I'm grateful for the phone calls. I'm grateful that I know this burden is being shared among a lot of people. I'm grateful for elders to hold my arms up when I can't hold them up anymore. I'm grateful for God's grace that I don't have to preach during this season. I'm grateful that in empathizing with my wife's pain that I've never loved her more. I'm grateful for the extra time I've been able to spend with my son. I'm thankful for how bad he wants a baby sister. I'm glad that in the mean time he gets to share Caleb's. I'm grateful that the joy of the Lord being my strength doesn't mean I have to feel happy. I'm grateful that we're worthy of a test, and I pray that our faithfulness will lead to be trusted with more. I pray that our church would experience revival and anointing. I pray for the next person who's going to have to suffer.

Anyway, I realize that these thoughts are random and all over the place. I realize that there's no resolution to my struggles, and I'm ok with that for right now. I'm trusting God for today - tomorrow's got enough trouble of it's own. I'm trusting God for daily bread. I'll eat the manna. I'll live with the pain, and I'll hope for the fruit to come quickly from the pruning.

So, thanks for taking the time to walk with us through this. Thanks for reading even though I don't really have anything to say. Hopefully soon, some clarity will come, and the Kingdom will come in San Marcos as it is in heaven. God Bless.

Hold The Peanut Butter

2007-09-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

This morning I learned something from my son. We were getting ready this morning, and I was making his sandwich. I asked him the usual, meat (or meap would be more accurate) and cheese or PB&J? This morning he asked for Peanut Butter and Jelly. I got the necessary items from the fridge, laid out the bread, grabbed the knife, and Jacob yelled, "wait!". I couldn't imagine that I had done something wrong already, but he wouldn't let me finish. He went on to tell me that I couldn't put peanut butter on his sandwich because one of his classmates was allergic to it.

I was impressed with his desire to put his friend's needs before his own. Jacob insisted that I make his sandwich without peanut butter. Jelly only on his sandwich today. I offered to make a meat and cheese, but he chose jelly only. I thought it was a beautiful picture of missional living. He chose to live like his friend had to live. He could've chosen something different, something better, but he chose to do without.

If we could learn to live with an awareness of the limitations that others have to live with, we would be a lot more like Jesus. If we were more aware of poverty, starvation, disease, we would be noticing the things that Jesus noticed. If we could learn to do without and think about how what we're entitled to could possible affect other people, we would be closer to the heart of God. I hope that I can learn to hold the peanut butter in many different ways.

Rebuilding Ruined Places

2007-09-06T13:51:00.001-07:00

"Then the nations that are left all around you shall know that I am the Lord; I have rebuilt ruined places and replanted that which was desolate. I am the Lord; I have spoken, and I will do it. Thus says the Lord God; 'this also I will let the house of Israel ask me to do for them: to increase their people like a flock.'" Ezekiel 36:36-37

Recently I've really begin to feel like these verses are paramount for not only us, but for all the Bible believing churches in our city. Historically, church plants have a very rough go of it in San Marcos. All businesses for that matter have a rough go of it from trying to survive the permitting and building process to a wide demographic of people- this is a tough place to do church, to do campus ministry, and to have a business. However, it seems like things are changing.

We live in what is probably the oldest inhabited part of the country. There were people here before any other place in the country. That's a lot of history to overcome. When the heyday of your town was in the 1800's, you know things are different. However, though San Marcos has a reputation for people leaving and schools that are having a tough time keeping students in them, somehow God has called us to be here. Not only us, but actually quite a few church plants in the past 10 years. Could it be that something is going to be changing? I hope so. I believe so.

When I look at this passage, I feel that this has become a desolate place, but that God is going to rebuild it. That which has been desolate is going to be fruitful. Flocks that are small are going to be large. However, it is only the Lord God who can accomplish this. Our best efforts are merely efforts, our greatest strengths are laughable, but the power of God is able to do the impossible. Nothing is impossible with God.

So, let's pray these verses together for our city, for our churches, but more importantly for the Kingdom of God.

Finally...a nap...

2007-08-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

We recently made a big decision to move our worship services from Sunday evenings to Sunday mornings. I've been against this decision for a long time, but as it turns out, I'm a big fan.

For the past three years Sundays have turned into 12-13 hour work days for me. I would get up, immediately fine tune all the details for church, but it would literally take all day. Knowing that I had Sunday as a work day was really nice. However, what I didn't realize was how exhausting it was to work all day and then preach or lead worship.

Additionally, Sabbath rest has been a hard thing to come by. It's real easy to justify that certain meetings are really important, or that a certain video has to get done. It's easy to prioritize meeting with and helping people to the detriment of preparing for Sundays - which pushes preparation to times that would otherwise be Sabbath. Here at the three year mark of the church, one word best describes how I feel. Tired.

What I didn't see coming was that Sunday mornings would give us the opportunity for rest. Today for the first time in over three years, I took a Sunday afternoon nap. While watching the Astros, cuddled up with my sick 5 year old, with my wife on the other side of him reading a book - all in our bed, I noticed something - we were resting. Resting to the point of relaxing and relaxing to the point of falling asleep even when I didn't think I was tired.

I don't know why I'm surprised that the Lord always takes care of us and has given us great opportunities to rest. I'm grateful that we stumbled on to something that we've needed for three years.

Marble Madness (a scary story)

2007-07-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

Today, I got an unpleasant phone call from Holly this afternoon saying that while she was in the other room, she heard Jacob cough a couple of times and then start crying. Once he calmed down, he told her that he had put a marble in his mouth that ended up slipping into the back of his throat where he had to cough it up. Needless to say, it freaked him out. He has a bruise on his throat from where he grabbed it when he began to choke. Holly called the doctor, and they wanted to check him out just to be safe. They said that he's fine.

It scares me as a parent to realize that despite our best efforts to keep a close watch on our son, we are ultimately unable to completely protect him. I didn't even know he had any of those magnetic marbles in his toy arsenal (which we have now found out are recalled b/c kids have died as a result of playing with them).

In the past couple of days, when I was praying for Jacob, I was extremely compelled to pray for his protection. One of the last things I did before I left for the office today was to pray specifically for Jacob's protection. When I told Holly this, she said she had felt the same thing recently. She had been praying the same things. I'm not saying that our prayers saved his life, but I can't say they didn't. What I do know is that our best attempts to protect our son pale in comparison to God's ability to protect His creation. God protected my son today, and I'm reminded how great He is, how gracious, and how faithful.

Thank You, Jesus.

Hot Pursuit

2007-06-28T08:43:00.000-07:00

Holly, Jake, and I have now been away from home for seven days, and we have three more to go. I wish I could say that it's been a restful and relaxing time. It all started with a meeting in Dallas last Thursday that was hosted by the Acts 29 church planting network. It was a seminar on leadership taught by a seminary professor. While it was very helpful and informative, it felt like seminary, and I left wiped out. The next day we went to Tulsa, OK to move my grandmother and all of her stuff to my aunt and uncle's house in Wichita, KS. That took all day Friday and Saturday. We spent Sunday and Monday with family - which was great, but wasn't so great on sleep patterns. We came back to Burleson for the rest of the week where we were going to celebrate our anniversary and hang out until I have to do a wedding in Dallas this weekend. We got in at midnight on Monday night and didn't get a whole lot of sleep. Tuesday night we got a call at 11:15pm that Holly's grandfather had fallen in the bathroom and was not responsive. We rushed over there and then to the Emergency Room until 2:30am. He had suffered an ischemic stroke. He's still in the hospital, and they're trying to determine the best plan for treatment. Needless to say, no sleep was to be had that night either. The next day was our anniversary, but we were so tired that we didn't feel like doing anything. How pathetic is that? On top of that Holly's been under the weather - probably from all of the dust and dirt from my Grandma's house. Anyway, we got some sleep last night - finally, and we're looking forward to this trip being over. Now for the fun part...

On Tuesday afternoon, I set off for some errands I had to run and to find the local coffee shop so I could get some work done. On the way, I dropped off my suit to be cleaned for the wedding. When I was waiting to pull out on to the feeder road, I witnessed the car next to me pull out into a far lane and hit a truck. The car was a 1970's town car which was absolutely massive. It hit a F-150 and knocked it clear off the road. The huge car backed off the road back into the parking lot, and I figured that he was just getting out of the way of traffic, but then I noticed that he didn't stop. I saw him start to turn around, and that's when I felt compelled to do my duty to dance upon injustice. It was pouring down rain, and this guy took off through the parking lot, dodging traffic, trying to escape. I tailed him. While I was hopping curbs, dodging cars and trying not to hydroplane, I got on the phone with 911. I told them what had happened and where I was and where it looked like he was going. I was tailing him from a distance and there was a dead end where I didn't know which way he went. I ended up going the wrong way, but I told them that he must've gone the other way, and by the time I turned around, they had him pulled over. Justice was served.

Needless to say, it's fun to get to play cops and robbers or cowboys and indians. It brought a little adrenaline and excitement to an otherwise taxing trip.

Off-guard in Orlando

2007-04-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

Brian and I attended the National New Church Conference in Orlando, Florida this week, and it was an amazing time. It was the largest gathering of church planters ever with around 1,700 church planters in attendance. It's truly amazing how church planting has developed. When we started 2 1/2 years ago, there were only a fraction of the resources available that there are today.

We attended some great sessions, and we were humbled and challenged by what God spoke to us while we were away. It was a very timely conference for us.

On to the off-guard... They had two pastors present via video. It wasn't live video, it was a video presentation of some of their thoughts and opinions about church planting. There were multiple videos of Tim Keller from Redeemer Church in New York and one of Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Driscoll's video was about calling out the men and equipping the men. It was somewhat abrasive, but right on. Those familiar with Driscoll know how he feels about men being men and how important it is for church planters to be real men - love their families, live lives of integrity, be good fathers and husbands, be strong, etc. However, he does not say all these things at the expense of women. He is a complimentarian who belives that women can fill every role in the church except Pastor/Elder. He didn't say that women can't serve. He didn't say women weren't gifted to minister. He didn't say anything to demean women, he was just talking to the men.

Bill Hybels was the speaker that followed Driscoll's video. The first thing he did after everyone finished giving him a standing ovation was to say this, "Well, after that 8-minute video, I'd like to set the record straight." So, right off the bat, he was obviously annoyed at the length and content of the video. He went on to say something to the effect of women being a valuable part of church planting, women have gifts to offer, etc. This caught me off-guard for a couple of reasons. It wasn't Hybel's place to complain about the length or the content of the video. To me, it was disrespectful to the hosts of the conference and to Mark Driscoll. It's fine if he disagrees, but his response was uncalled for. He assumed that he knew Driscoll's position, and his comments were in response to a position that Driscoll doesn't even stand for. It was hugely disappointing and awkward. Hybels hadn't even been there for any other parts of the conference - so he had no idea what the heart of the teachings had been. He went on to talk about whatever he wanted and not what the theme of the conference was. Don't get me wrong, I have a ton of respect for him, and I was even convicted by the things that he shared. I just was caught off-guard by his attitude and words right off the bat. We had been learning about not demeaning people who think differently than us. We had been learning about spending quality time with the Lord in order to be able to build into people and the church, and the first few minutes of Hybel's talk was contradictory to the very heart of what we've been learning.

So, I'll also confess that I'm a big Driscoll fan. I'll also confess that I think he occasionally may fall of the razor's edge of tact. I'm really not taking a side because I can understand why someone who thinks differently would have a differing opinion, but I think I expect more from someone of Hybel's stature. Actually, I'm sure I do. It would be different if Driscoll said these things at Willow Creek - at Bill's church where he's the Daddy Elder, but this was in a neutral site - not his place.

So, I hope that what we learn from this is that it's ok to disagree with each other, but we should disagree in a spirit of grace and love. We should disagree face to face and not criticize someone who's not even there. We should still act like we love and respect those we might even consider our enemies. I'm grateful for a friend of mine who disagreed with me last week. He called, took me to lunch, and told me that he disagreed. We talked, we discussed, we're still friends. I think we still don't totally agree, but that's secondary.

I hope that when I have opportunities to disagree that I will have the courage to disagree like a Godly man, in a way that builds the Kingdom, in a way that stands on unity and not division, in a way that would cause others to stumble.

Anyway, there I was off-guard in Orlando.

PS - this video is now available to be seen online @ http://www.theresurgence.com/md_blog_2007-04-28_banned_church_planting_video

Diversity & Cascarones

2007-04-11T07:49:00.000-07:00

One of the things we've preached the entire tenure of River Stone is the importance of diversity. They say that Sunday mornings are the most segregated time of the week. In church planting classes, they teach you to target a specific demographic, and they call it the homogeneous theory. It's easier to go after one type of person. The fastest growing churches in America are evidence of this - people of largely the same race, socio-economic status, and lifestyle. While it's hard to be critical of anyone reaching a specific group of people with the Good News of Jesus, it seems that this is not necessarily the way Jesus built his Church. Phrases like "every tribe and tongue"and "neither Greek nor Jew" stick out to me. I remember Jesus talking to the Samaritan woman at the well - a race detested by the Jews. I remember the story of the Good Samaritan - one that is all to real in our day and time. We have a tendency to stick with our own and to hang out with people who are like us and validate our particular style of life. Churches sometimes remedy the homogeneous theory by reaching out to different neighborhoods and starting mission churches to reach those different from them. Again, it's hard to be critical, but is that really what heaven's going to look like? Though every tribe and tongue will be represented, will we have different sections for every race? Will we look down our noses at the people who are different than us? Will we take credit for ministering to those less fortunate even though we paid somebody else to do the work or we spent a week in a particular place? Or, follow me here, should every church have all types of people every week?

We are not a big church, and if you evaluate us strictly on a numerical scale, we're not that successful of a church, but I love this place. I love our church because of Cascarones. We had a wonderful Easter Celebration this year, and it was a wonderful time of celebrating babies, families, life, and most importantly the Risen Savior, Jesus. We had a packed house, and the Spirit was so wonderful among our people, and then it happened. A Cascarones fight broke out. Cascarones are dyed eggs that have been gutted and replaced with confetti. They are a Mexican Easter tradition, and kids from our church assaulted each other and us with their confetti eggs. We were planning a traditional Easter Egg Hunt after church, but the super cold weather interrupted those plans. So, our spontaneous celebration with Cascarones replaced it, and it made me appreciate the diversity in our church. As I've walked down the sidewalk in front of the facility where our church meets, and I still see the confetti spread all over it, I'm thankful that I even know what Cascarones are. Last year, I had no idea. I'm thankful that our church is not made up of people like me. We are people of different tribes, different tongues, different status, different places in our faith, we're just different, and that's what I love about us.

So, our church would probably be bigger if it was homogeneous, but if I have a choice, I'll continue to choose smaller and more diverse. May God continue to bring us people not like us. To Him be the glory in every tribe and tongue.

Bobcat Build Weather

2007-03-31T08:25:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to say thank you so much for praying. The storms came through Friday night and made way for a beautiful today. Yesterday, they were saying a 75% of heavy rain today, but it was not to be. God is good, and prepared a wonderful day for the Kingdom work to go on. Thank you, Jesus.

The Kingdom Come

2007-03-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

I'm back. I have no excuse for my lapse between blogs, and I won't waste your time with a bunch of excuses as to why... so I'll just for for it.

Included in The Lord's Prayer are these very powerful words, "May your Kingdom Come." Since we started River Stone, one of our most fervent prayers has been for the Kingdom to come in our town. We want the blessings of God to rain down on our community. We pray for it to be a safer place, we pray for the schools to continue to improve, we pray that people would be compelled to live here, we pray that we would take the Gospel to the people through our actions and attitudes and not expect the people to come to us, we pray that God would use us to demonstrate His love and His Kingdom to our community. As a result, we're always looking for ways to be involved in this type of thing. Read on...

A few months ago at breakfast with the mayor (the mayor usually invites clergy to a breakfast once a month, but it sounds important, doesn't it?), she requested that someone from the ministers group volunteer on the volunteer committee for something called "Bobcat Build." I was very familiar with the event. It is a one day community service day where college students volunteer to serve their community. They recruit job-sites that need paint, fixing up, cleaning up, clearing out, etc. They spend an entire Saturday doing this. The college kids have kind of a bad reputation in town because they drive crazy, listen to loud music, party a lot, and make the lines at HEB and Walmart really long. Many people in the town don't talk favorably about the college students. So, how do they repay those who think that way about them? They serve them. They go to the homes of the poor, the needy, and the places that reach out to the poor and the needy. They call all the churches to see if they need any work done. This year, over 2,500 college students will work at over 100 job-sites. They're working to building bridges with the community. They're working to make their community a better place. They're blessing those who persecute them. It's truly one of the most beautiful things in a community that I've ever seen, and I've been honored to serve as a part of the planning team (I was the only minister who signed up, in case you were wondering. And, I don't say that to toot my horn, I just think is disappointing). Moving on...

Here's the revelatory paragraph that you've been waiting for. As we've been praying for the churches to work together to bring the Kingdom to San Marcos, the people who are actually doing it are the college students. I've never seen 2,500 Christians assemble in our area to perform acts of love and kindness just because it's the right thing to do. The churches are the ones being served by the college students -most of which don't even go to church (random fact - only about 1,000 of the 28,000 college students at Texas State go to church). My heart breaks that a secular (even though I don't believe in sacred vs. secular - everything that God made is good) institution of learning has a greater perspective on the Kingdom coming than the churches. I pray that the Church can exist for something more than trying to get people in the doors, and I pray that we would learn that we have a message to take to the people, and that message is love and humility by service.

Thank you, Bobcat Build for living out something the church has been teaching for years. May we learn to do the same. May there come a day where the university learns from the churches because of the tremendous examples of love they are to their community...instead of it working the other way around.

If you're reading this before March 31st. Please pray for favorable weather for the Bobcat Build work day. The coordinators of this event asked me to pray for it, and I would like to ask you to do the same. Thank you.

The Good and the Bad

2006-12-22T05:32:00.000-08:00

Because I wait entirely too long to post my blogs, I kind of have a lot to say. So, roll with me on this.

Being a pastor is a crazy thing. I love my job. I love Jesus. I love helping others connect with Jesus. I love preaching. I love leading worship. I love doing life with the people God has surrounded me with to do life with. However, in the past few months, I feel more hurt than ever in the midst of the most joy I've ever had. I know, it's strange. As with everything else, it's a Paradox.

I feel an overwhelming call to simple honesty. I'm supposed to speak truth in love according to Scripture. We've been talking a lot recently about helping each other define true reality. Here's the reality that I've come to. Many people are faking it. I'm wearied. Have you ever walked through a spider web at night and found yourself trying to recover without looking stupid? That's kind of what I feel like. Over the past few months, people that I've invested hours, days, even years in have turned out to be something they're not. Because of what I do, people tell me what they think I want to hear (and that's how great they're doing ... if you were wondering). They tell me how great I am, how much they love the church, how much they want to help. Then, with no explanation, they're gone and won't return your phone calls and e-mails. A former co-worker of mine (a minister) filed for divorce this week because it turns out they were having an affair. Another friend has been lying about what they've been smoking for the past year and a half. These are all people that I've been close to. These are people I consider friends. These are people I consider followers of Christ. The reality is you can't follow Christ and act like this. You can't. It's impossible. As we follow Christ, we are transformed into His image. We become more like Him. Blowing smoke, pretending it, faking it is not what following Christ is about. I feel like I should be able to see passed it, call the bluff, expose the man behind the curtain, but in the past I've not wanted to think wrongly of people. Even though all the signs were there, I didn't want to believe these things about people that I love. The trouble is now, more problems have been sown into their life because of their pretending. It hurts my hearts, hurts my feelings, and makes me not want to give anyone else the benefit of the doubt.

So, my plea for everyone who claims the name of Christ ... stop pretending. Stop faking it. Stop trying to make people like you by saying that you're following Christ. You can't live a double life and be His follower. You can't receive grace until you're honest about the places in your life that you need that grace the most. It covers the darkest depths of your soul, and you have to confess it. Stop lying to pastors about how great everything is when the reality is that you're not really committed. Stop faking it, and get real.

That was the bad first, in case you wondering. Now, for the good.

Last night Holly put on a birthday party for me. My real birthday is the day after Christmas (the big 31 this year), but most everyone is scattered for the holidays, and Holly wanted to get everyone together before that happened. It was an "everything Jason" which makes me totally uncomfortable because I don't like to draw that kind of attention to myself. I don't like being the center of attention, and I'm not very good at receiving. However, she put together my favorite foods, gave me an Astros cake, put on one of my favorite movies, did a funny Jason quiz, and invited my favorite people. It was really great. While I've felt more burned than ever in my life, I also feel more blessed than ever because of the true friends that God has given me. It was a joy to be in a place where I could love and be loved without the expectation of anything in return, without pretending. I have never had such a strong group of friends - friends who know everything about me and who love me anyway (and vice versa), friends who know what gifts I'll really enjoy, friends who were excited about doing the things that I like to do for a night. It was really great. I also have to say how great it is to have my wife as my best friend who knows what I need more than I do myself.

So, close, honest, loving in spite of our weaknesses friends are the Good. Pretending, faking, and lying is the Bad. Thank you, Jesus for both because the good is made better because of the bad.

"Shaken"

2006-11-17T12:05:00.000-08:00

What a roller coaster of emotions the past few weeks have been. My good friend, Thomas Escalon, was raised from the dead (it's a long story if you don't know it). A month later he survived a quintuple bypass heart surgery and is recovering at a rapid rate - it's nothing short of miraculous. God is seeming to put the power of prayer on display in our lives. He brings us to the point of death - twice in the same month - and miracles happened both times. Why are miracles so surprising. Does Scripture not say that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in us. The same Spirit. Not some western-civilization, modern version of the same Spirit. Not some weak, dumbed-down, tame version. The same Spirit. Miracles should be more common. I'm so grateful that God chose to put that on display to us as a church this month. He's teaching us to pray, He's showing us that He's got this thing. He's drawing us closer and closer to Him, but He has to shake us up to do it. Thank you for the shaking.

For another story on shakes... Yesterday, on my day off, the fam and I journeyed northward to Round Rock for the opening of the new IKEA store. Actually, it opened on Wendesday, but we figured we would miss some crowds on Thursday. So we found our way through the circus of cars, parking attendants, and parking lots. We parked in an overflow parking lot across the street. As we were stepping into the street, I looked down to grab Jacob's hand. In that instant I stepped into a drainage gutter and twisted my ankle in two different directions other than what it was created to twist in. Spraining my ankles has become a hobby of mine beginning in college, but this was by far the most pain I've ever felt in my ankle - maybe the most pain period. I hopped around, yelled at my wife (she was the closest person and I had to yell at someone!), and somehow managed to prevent both expletives and tears from coming out.

I wasn't about to drive all that way and not experience IKEA, so I did with much pain as I hobbled arround the ginormous store. It lived up to they hype. I love that place and wish I had a lot more money to spend there. Afterward, traffic was horrible, so we stopped and watched a movie. During the flick, I propped my foot up - yes on the seat in front of me, I know it's against the rules, but I was in a lot of pain. Anyway, we stopped for a bite to eat at Fudrucker's (still waiting for the traffic to die down). We had just begun to eat when they announced that someone's Strawberry Shake was ready. For those of you who don't know, it is my opinion that a Strawberry Shake is one of the finest experiences in this life (especially if it's from Annie's on South Post Oak in Houston). Anyway, I told Holly that I thought that maybe my own Strawberry Shake would make my ankle feel better. Jacob quickly chimed in that he thought it would heal the scratch on his face. We were in agreement. Now, I have to confess that it was a plea more than a prayer, but before I could really work my case, the manager came up with a beautifully crafted Strawberry Shake in his hand and said, "I accidentally made an extra one of these, would you guys like to have it?" Yes we would, and yes we did. It was a beautiful thing, and my ankle did begin to feel better for a few minutes.

Maybe the lesson is something about how the lows and hard times make the good things even better. I'm thankful for the Strawberry Shake, but I'm more thankful for life and breath. Consider me shaken by the provision of my Father.

Deceived

2006-11-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been a month since I jotted anything down. Anyway, on with the thought...

Last night we continued our teaching through 1 Corinthians 3 (available for download at www.river-stone.org), and the focus was on what destroys the church. The most profound thing I can't stop thinking about from this is how deceived we really are.

Anyone who's watched and of the audtion episodes of American Idol has witnessed self-deception at it's finest. Loads and loads of people who obviously have no talent, really think they can sing. They think the judges are wrong. They think millions of viewers are wrong. They completely ignore what is a black and white reality in lieu of their opinion of themselves.

The reality is that our opinion of ourselves can not be trusted. We deceive ourselves. What we see in the mirror isn't what other people see. How we think of ourselves is not how other people think of ourselves. We often think we're better or worse than we really are. We define our own reality based on our perceptions, and that's a flaw of our humanity. We need to surround ourselves with others who help us see more clearly who we are. Our friends see us for who we really are - for the good and bad. Accountability is what we need to more accurately see who we really are.

I often times consider myself to be fairly self-aware. I know what I'm good at, I know what I'm bad at, I know what I can pull off and appear to be good at. However, at any moment, I could find myself thinking more highly of myself than I ought. I could find myself not having people in my life that help keep my reality defined. I could believe what I want regardless of what everyone else says. I could very easily find myself deceived.

We need to be aware that we are deceived people in need of honest friends to walk with us in our journey of faith in order to keep us more in tune with the reality of Jesus. Only when we look at ourselves through his eyes do we see as we ought to see. May we be honest with ourselves and surround ourselves with godly people who love us enough to help us determine who we really are.

If you're certain that you're not deceived, you are. If you know you're deceived, then you're in the best place for discovering reality. Regardless of how you see yourself, this week you should ask someone you trust for an honest evaluation of who you really are. Does anybody remember "The Emperor's New Clothes"? Wouldn't you rather know? Ask someone. You don't have to be deceived.

Musicians

2006-09-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

I found a new take on musicians this week in Scripture that I'd like to share. We all know there are a million different styles of music, and we also know that music is powerful enough to split churches, separate close friends, bring people togehter, create emotion, and on and on. At River Stone, we don't believe in sacred and secular, and over the past few years we have covered plenty of songs that wouldn't be considered "Christian." We based that on Acts 17. When Paul preached on Mars Hill, he quoted poets of that time. Well, today, musicians are the modern day poets. In lyrics of mainstream music, you find the heart of mainstream culture. In mainstream culture you find people who need Jesus. Our job is to help people connect the dots that show them Jesus. Music is a very powerful tool. So, that's what we already know.

Now, you may be wondering what Louis Armstrong has to do with this, and the answer is nothing. He's just a great musician whose picture I came across. Ok - here's the new stuff. In 1 Chronicles, David is preparing for his death and departure. He's filling all the positions to fnish what he started. The main task at hand is the construction of God's temple which was going to be the task of his son, Solomon. Now, to give him a headstart, he's appointing people to do everything related to the building of the temple. One of the areas he's preparing for is the music. He appoints musicians. In this time, musicians were very important. Even in armies, the band would go out front. They would motivte the men in battle, they would lead the charge. They understood the power of music. Now, what I learned goes even further than that. It says that David and the chiefs set apart some guys who prophesied with lyres, with harps, and with cymbals. I never thought of that really. I've run across plenty of artists who have a prophetic flare - Derek Webb, Keith Green, Delirious, Johnny Cash, Bono for example, but I never knew that was part of the assignment for temple musicians.

As I think about church music, I'm often saddened by how good it makes you feel and how little it challenges you in your faith. Today we gravitate towards the songs we like and discard what we don't like. It sounds a lot like the prophets in the OT. God told Isaiah - these people aren't going to listen to what you have to say. Think about music you don't like. Could it be the voice of God presenting something to you that forces you more into honesty that blind happiness. What if church musicians were more of a mindset of delivering the message God wants - even if that means most people are not going to listen? After all, don't we write songs in such a way that the most important thing is for people to listen - to have a shot at airplay.

I wonder if the most important things we need to hear are what we don't automatically like. I wonder if the musical prophets of our day aren't on the radio. I wonder what church music would be like if their intent was to prophesy. I wonder if anyone's going to listen anyway.

Breakfast with Martin

2006-09-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

Today is a day I've been looking forward to for a very long time. Norman told us that he would try to arrange a time for us to meet Martin if he was in town. Needless to say, his tour schedule is always a challenge to work around. I really tried not to get my hopes up. Even until Thursday, I was anticipating a cancellation - after all he is famous and very busy. There's a lot of expectation that goes into meeting one of your heroes, and sometimes we hold them at a level they can't possible live up to. Well, I'm happy to say that Martin Smith is a hero that met every expectation.

For those of you who aren't sure who Martin is, he is the lead singer of Delirious. He has penned, what are in my opinion, the best worship songs ever written (I Could Sing of Your Love, Shout to the North, Deeper, Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble, My Glorious, Majesty, Rain Down, etc.). I spent an hour and a half with him this morning (he only committed to an hour, but stayed longer) over pancakes and coffee. Ok - now for the rest ...

This man is humble, respectful, wise, polite, a deep thinker, discerning, and a lot of other great words that I could put here. We talked about worship, about the church, about the band, about his family, about our church, about missions, and much more. He initiated questions about our home, church, and family, and he followed up with questions that let you know he really cared about us. He spoke profound words about worship and the church, and he used many of the buzzwords we use - especially "doing life together". Ever since we started River Stone, it's been refreshing to find people who are like-minded who give credibility to what we do and how we do it. I never thought that Martin Smith would be one of those people. The things that are important to us are important to him. Many of my soapbox issues were things he's passionate about. I couldn't believe how great our time together was. The tragedy was we had to kick him out because of plans that we had previously made. Time with Martin cut short. But, we were invited to his father-in-law's birthday party (who happens to be the pastor of the church here), and we found out "the band", as they're referred to here, will be leading worship on Sunday at Arun. They haven't led here since July, and these days it is a rare occasion. The Lord has smiled upon us and blessed us more than we ever could've imagined. He has confirmed every step of this trip, and it's been amazing. Did I mention that Steven Curtis Chapman will be at church on Sunday? We will be the only other Americans in the place.

I know that I've rambled on and haven't made the most sense, but I'm really excited about what the Lord is doing in our relationship with Arun Community Church. Every few months I get very weighed down by the weight of ministry, and times such as this are invaluable to my own personal rejuvenation and refreshment. Please continue to pray that God would continue to reveal himself and how this relationship is supposed to manifest itself in the future of my life and River Stone's ministries.

On a personal note, pray for us as we travel to London on Sunday night to spend the night. This will be our only chance to see London. We will be traveling by train from the Southern Coast of England to Victoria Station. We will spend one night at the cheapest hotel we could find and return back to Norman and Grace's Monday evening before we get up super early on Tuesday to fly home. The unnerving thing is that we will be touring London on 9/11, and with the recent terrorist activity in the city, it is easy to feel anxious. However, we know that we won't necessarily have many other opportunities to see the city. Pray also for us as we begin to be aware that we've been away for Jake for 5 days. We miss him, and he's getting over some congestion in his chest. Also, pray for Grace. She's struggling with polymyalgia. It is a disease of the nerve endings that causes her a lot of pain. You would never know she had it, but she is in a lot of pain. Norman and Grace are fasting breakfast and lunch every Wednesday - trusting God for her healing. We were able to stand alongside of them in that this week, and I got to pray over Grace for her healing. What a blessing it was. I wanted to share that in case you would like to fast and pray for her. Also, we are suffering from jet lag, but haven't really had time to be affected by it. We've been sleeping just fine (in spite of no A/C), but are overwhelmed by sleepiness a few times a day.

So, that's probably it for now. There is more to tell than I can tell. There are more thoughts to unpack that I haven't even begun to process. I could go home today completely enriched and refreshed, but we've got 4 more days. Tomorrow, we're going to a medieval castle and to the pastor's birthday party. Sunday, we'll go to church in the morning and to London in the evening. Monday, we'll see as much of London as we can see. Tuesday, we leave Norman and Grace's at 6am to catch our plane. We're excited about the rest of our trip, and we are trusting that God has plenty more for us.

We love you and miss you guys very much. We hope you're having a great week!

Made It

2006-09-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

Well, Holly and I made it to the UK. The 9+ hour flight was not so bad. We only slept a few hours and arrived here at 9:45am. We've already walked up and down the seashore in Rustington where Norman and Grace live. We've celebrated their 42nd wedding anniversary, and we've planned out the rest of our week. It's hard to believe that we're in another country, but it's truly great to see what God has planned for us.

Please continue to pray for us. Tomorrow could be very difficult in the jetlag department. Also, pray for Jacob. We had to leave him sick in the care of his Nanny, Pawpaw and Grandma. It's hard for us to be away from him while he's not feeling well.

That's all for now.

Blessings ...

jason

My Shepherdess

2006-08-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

This title makes a lot more sense if you were at River Stone Sunday night. We're studying Genesis and when Jacob first sees Rachel, he sees her with sheep - something he's totally in to. Driscoll says it's like finding a woman who owns her own bass boat. Sunday I added like a woman who bungee jumps or rides motorcycles or climbs rocks, etc. The point of all this is that I had one of those moments with my bride long before she was my bride. I fully intended to talk about it Sunday night, but brain cramped it out. So, here it is.

When I met Holly, she was (and still very much is) this beautiful, intelligent, clean cut, prim and proper, small town girl. I knew I was attracted to her, but I was still checking out to see what all we had in common to see if this was going anywhere. After all, she was from the town where not only does every guy drive an old piece of crap pick up truck, but most are (or were) decked out with certain features of a cow's anatomy hanging from the spare tire area (I'm not unpacking it if you're missing it). She seemed different from the rest of the town, but I was unsure.

I was a total wanabee Christian rocker (if there is such a thing). The "Jesus Freak" album from DC Talk was new, and I was a big fan. At the time I drove a 1985 K-5 GMC Jimmy with 32.5" tires. It was large and so was the sound system. The most expensive Sony CD player you could buy in 1996 that fed some big fancy amp that pushed two 15" Kickers. I liked my music loud, I liked to sing along, I liked to bob my head to the beat, I was a huge dork. However, I thought that I was bad. My friends at the time were not bold enough to confront my posing - maybe because they were too ... maybe. Anyway, on the way home from our first date which was not a real date b/c it was a set-up, I decided to conduct a little test to see how this small town goody goody would react to a little rock-n-roll. Up with the DC Talk. To my surprise she knew every word to my favorite songs. She sang - loud - and really good by the way (not a surprise to anyone who hears her belt it out every week at church). Not only that, but that every so carefully brushed hair was soon flying back and forth as she banged her head. She says this is the moment when I fell in love with her, and I'm not sure about that ... BUT ... it was the moment that I was confident that this relationship was going places.

It may sound pretty insignificant, but when I saw that, I connected with my shepherdess. Our first real date was a few weeks later. You guessed it ... DC Talk concert under the stars at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. It was as romantic as DC Talk music could be, and we had a great time. 7 months later we were engaged. A year and a half after that we were married. And to borrow from the romanticism of my forefather Jacob, I can honestly say that 10 years of working and doing life together seem like only a few days. I thank God for reminding me of this innocent time in our relationship where everything was new and I was more concerned with uncovering the mystery and godliness of this wonderful person than I was of my own selfish desires.

What God orderes he pays for, and He ordered me a prim and proper, clean cut, small town, rocker that was exactly what I needed to motivate me to become the man He created me to be.

That's all for now. Blessings to you.

Washing Feet

2006-08-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

This evening I learned another lesson from my soon to be four year old. I know it's weak that this is my only blog material as of late, but this was significant.

Tonight was the playoff tournament for our Co-Rec softball team. I'm proud to say that our record is perfect - perfectly bad! We lost every single game ... except for our first playoff game - which we won due to the other team not having enough players. The outcome of our game tonight was not favorable, but it's a great group of people to be around, and thank God the beatings are over.

Anyway, back to the boy. My son has a crush on an extremely cute three year old named Allison. He says that she is his girlfriend, and tonight he said that he loved her. I wish we were still in the era of arranged marriages. I'd hook this one up in a second (Cody and Amy, I think we can work it out). Jacob loves it when Allison comes to the games to watch her Daddy play. Tonight was such a night. They ran and played and climbed and mostly played in the dirt. When it was discovered that Allison's feet were dirty from their play time, Jacob volunteered to wash her feet. He took the wipes and started to work. I was not an eyewitness, and I'm not sure how good of a job he did. I'm not even certain that he got to execute his plan, but it was a beautiful moment. Tears were in eyes, and I'm proud of my boy. When a lot of kids punch their "girlfriends" or boss them around or tell them what to do ... Jacob wanted to wash her feet.

Normally at night, we go through our KidsTalk page that Holly puts together for all the kids at our church. Tonight when I was tucking him in, with tears in my eyes, I told him that he did something just like Jesus. I told him how Jesus washed the disciples feet when they were dirty. I also told him that tonight instead of me teaching him something, that he taught me something. Tomorrow I'm going to look for an opportunity to wash some feet - especially of the people that I love.

Appetism

2006-07-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

I do have to confess that I like to make up words, especially while I'm preaching. This word, however isn't a word that I made up, it's real. Read on ...

One of the greatest delights of my job is baptizing people who have become Christ-followers. This past Sunday we baptized these 4 beautiful people in the San Marcos River. There is something special about baptizing in the river, something very New Testament, something refreshing and something very fun.

To make things more fun, count on my son. When Jacob was watching us walk down into the freezing cold river, he looked up at his Mommy and said, "Mommy, why is Daddy going to appetize those people?" I more than chuckled at his attempt to repeat words that make sense to everyone else, and I trusted that he didn't really think that I was going to consume any of my friends in the river. We've told him it's "Baptize", but he's still got his heart set on "Appetize". So, according to my almost 4 year old, we had an "appetism" celebration on Sunday.

As usual, the apparent randomness of my kid teaches me the grace of God. In many ways baptism is appetism. Before you dig into the main course, you whet your appetite with an appetizer. As you begin your journey as a Christ-follower, the first thing the New Testament asks of us is to be baptized like Jesus. It is the beginning, the diving in point, the whetting of the appetite that makes you hungry for more. My heart breaks for those who arrive at baptism and see it as an end. It's truly a beginning, a Genesis moment, the start of a journey with the Lord. It's an appetizer.

Another way my son's brilliance (I know that I'm biased, but he's freakishly smart even if he is too stubborn to poop in the potty) shone through is how appetizers affect others. Even when I'm not hungry for an appetizer, if someone at the table suggests it - I'm in. Or, if another table orders it and it catches my eye, I want it. It was truly delightful to gather with most of our church on the banks of one of the most popular swimming holes in our town, in the shadow of Joe's Crabshack, for a celebration of new life with Jesus. As I dunked each Christ-follower, the people screamed, clapped, whistled, and yelled in celebration as others who were just there to swim were drawn in by the experience. Maybe they saw that following Christ is exciting and fun, not boring and mundane. Maybe they saw that we rejoice with those who rejoice. Maybe they longed for something they don't have. Maybe appetism is something they will desire for themselves some time soon. That's my prayer anyway.

That's my blog this time around. Thank you, Lord, for my son who continues to teach me and make me laugh. May his life continue to be lived for Your glory!

In Defense of the Bride...

2006-07-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

I have to confess right now that I'm angry. Actually, I don't really need to confess it because anger is not a sin, but I just thought I'd start there to explain the intensity of the following rant.

I just read a blog that was very disturbing to me. It's the same song, same verse that gets sung all the time. Church sucks. It's boring. Everyone's fake. Nobody cares about me. It's all about religion, a checklist and routine. Why can't I just be myself? Why won't they play music that I like? Why do I not feel better when I leave? Why can't it be more like a rave? Why can't we just drink beer, smoke weed, and talk about God and spiritual stuff?

The common theme is always the same... someone who doesn't put anything into the church but expects a whole lot out of it. Someone who is so consumed with their own wants and desires that they miss the whole thing. Someone who wants to experience God, but doesn't want to obey His Word. Someone who is all of the sudden a music critic b/c they can't get beyond their own preferences.

I have little patience for this way of thinking. Believe me, I've experienced ritualistic worship in a traditional church. I've watched with broken hearts as people just sing words off a page with no expression, no emotion, and certainly no excitement. I understand you can make an argument that emerging churches can fall into a pattern that is comfortable for them. I even understand the parallels between the traditional forms and emerging forms. This is what I don't understand. What gives any one the right to show up once or twice a month just to give the church a rating? The church doesn't exist for the satisfaction or joy of any man. It exists for the glory of God. The moment we criticize an honest service of worship that has been put together by pastors or leaders who have prayed to God for direction and led by volunteers who have sacrificed their time, energy, and talents for a greater good, we place ourselves on the throne and focus our worship there. Nowhere does scripture teach that worship is supposed to make you feel good. Though experiencing the presence of God is what we were created for, and it does bring us joy in a way we can't understand, the reality is often when biblical characters actually experienced the presence of God - they were afraid for their lives. The bowed in honor and reverence. They prayed for others. They ministered. They were used by God to bring about life-change in others. They experienced the supernatural in their very lives because they were focused on God and not the songs, or whether or not anyone talked to them, or whether they liked the sermon. They showed up every day in excitement of what God was going to do. That's right every day. Scripture tells us not to forsake meeting together. It also tells us they met together daily to be sharpened by each other. Proverbs says that as iron sharpens iron one man sharpens another. When iron sharpens iron ... sparks fly. I've experienced this in my own life more times than I would care to admit. When I need to be sharpened, my sharpening experience doesn't always make me feel good, but knowing that I'm being molded and shaped and stretched is good. Worship has that same potential - sometimes - a lot of times what's more important is that it hurts good not just feels good. Look at the people's reactions to Jesus' teachings. How do you think the pharisees felt when Jesus told them they were sons of their father the devil? I'm guessing that didn't make them feel good. The old adage that the truth hurts is true. But it hurts good. When I put on my critic hat, which by the way I'm very quick to do when I attend churches other than my own, I become the object of my worship.

Now, is there any excuse for Christ-followers to not grow in community with other Christ-followers? No. Is there any excuse for not being missed? No. Is there any excuse for exclusivity? No. However, in my experience the people who complain about that intentionally avoid contact from others. Intentionally don't initiate conversations. Intentionally don't let anyone know what's going on with them. Intentionally leave without telling anyone just to prove that the church has failed. Community is two way. The root is the same as the word communication. It is impossible for communication or a lack of to depend on one party. It's always both. Not "feeling" part of a church is never one party's fault. It's both. However, if your worship experience is dominated by feelings of "I dont' really like that" or "these people are all fake" or "I'd be better off on my own" you're more focused on yourself than what Scripture teaches us about church.

I think it's tragic that people complain about how pastors like me expect people to come to church. The collective church is the bride of Christ - the very people that Christ died for. It crawls all over me - just like if someone talks bad about my wife - when people attack the church either generally or specifically. The bible talks about those attacks too. Be careful about pointing out the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye when you've got a plank in your own. In humility, having someone pull your plank out is going to be painful, but necessary. It's time to come to church in humility with brokenness, with an open heart and mind, with a desire to plug-in, with a desire to serve others and consider them more important than yourselves. It's the bride of Christ, not of ourselves. It's not for us to talk bad about another man's wife - especially Jesus'. It's our job to get to know her, spend time with the bride and the groom, and grow in love and respect for them both. The epistles say that the two become one. So, when you trash the bride, you trash the groom. It's ironic that people say "I like Jesus but hate the church". It's impossible. The two are one. It's time to see the church for what she will become, not for all of her faults. Thank God Jesus doesn't look at us like that. He takes us as we are, reconciles us to Himself, and spends the rest of our lives sanctifying us, perfecting us, making us more like Him. The church is by no means perfect. There are faults, there are problems, but she's still the bride. Still one with Christ. Maybe it's time to stop hopping around from church to church and finding all the problems and time to plug-in and be a part of helping them to be what God is leading them to be.

I'm tired of "Christians", religious or non-religious, blaming the church for all their problems when all the church desires to do is provide them with an opportunity to connect with God. It's time to take ourselves off of the throne and remember what church is about - for the glory of God not the glorification and enjoyment of ourselves. Lord help us that we think it's too hard to follow you in modern day America and that we have good excuses for not commiting to pouring our lives out as a drink offering for the greater good of mankind. May you break our selfishness and pride.

I told you it was a rant.

May the Lord have mercy on the critics of His bride and pastors who are caught in the middle of a God who loves His creation, and a creation who loves darkness more than light.

Friends

2006-05-23T14:58:00.000-07:00

I've learned something this week ... I'm co-dependent on a lot of people. We have some of the best friends in the world (some of whom are undeniably pictured above). The past week has been a whirlwind of activity at our new house. We've cleaned, painted, put down new flooring, and a lot of other stuff. The bottom line is that we couldn't have done it on our own. There's no way. The other thing is that we didn't ask anybody for help. It just came, and it was and is one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced. On top of that, our 24 date friends put off watching the 2 hour season finale until we could watch it together. Who does that? Who helps paint until 2:30 in the morning ... and then again until 1:15 in the morning two days later. Who stays until 2am putting in floor? What kind of crazies am I surrounded by? I'm really not sure the answer to the last question. All I know is that the love of God has been on display through many beautiful people in our lives.

Thank you for those who have helped, who are going to watch Jake, who are going to clean, who are coming to help move stuff, who put off watching 24, and who have patiently allowed your spouse to be apart of any of these things. The sacrifice you've made is humbling and a wonderful overflow of the joy of the Lord. May the Lord bless your commitment to being great friends. Holly and I love you and appreciate you more than you know.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

Sleepless in Seattle... and San Marcos...

2006-05-14T22:03:00.000-07:00

While this does sound like the title of a girl's blog, in my defense I've never watched the movie ... well at least the whole thing. It's true. That's Holly and I at the original Starbucks in Seattle. Coffee was more of a requirement than a luxury last week for us as we spent most of the week, well, sleepless.

Once or twice a year I get wind of a conference that I'd actually like to go to. Most of the ones have to do with topical church things that I frankly could care less about. The Reform and Resurge conference hosted by Mars Hill Church was appealing to me. The pastor is Mark Driscoll, and he's a controversial, outspoken leader who recklessly and faithfully pursues the fullness of God. While I don't agree with everthing he says, I have been very sharpened and influenced by his work and research. What set this conference apart is that it focused on theology more than ideology. In other words not the how to, but more of the why to. And pardon the Sunday School answer, but it was a lot about Jesus.

I told my staff about the conference in December or January and told them I thought we should go, but that I couldn't garuntee that the church would be able to pay their way. Quickly we decided that we would trust God to provide for us to go which included paying our own way if we had to. We also decided to invite our wives along. The most unappreciated role in the world is that of a pastoral staff's wife. Every day our wives willingly sacrifice us to the common good of the church and everyone else. Every day our wives suffer more activity from the devil himself than anyone else. Every day our wives hurt when we hurt and are mother and nurturer to not only our kids, but to the church. Every day, our wives are the strength behind our ministry. They are rarely thanked even though they are more than major players in all of the ministries we are involved in. Because they end up being so involved, it was great for them to be involved in the training that we received. Because we received a generous donation from one of our partner's employers, we were able to pick up the tab for the entire team to go to Seattle.

We spent 16 hour days listening, learning, crying, laughing, worshiping, praying, thinking, planning, processing, and meeting together. It was intense. It was more Jesus than I ever expected, and my life will never be the same. We did work in some sites, but more than that God actually awoken parts of me in the midst of my sleeplessness.

I feel my sleeplessness in Seattle is actually giving way to sleeplessness in San Marcos. God used a week in the most beautiful city I've ever seen to refresh and refocus my heart. He reminded me of why we came to San Marcos. We came to reach a lost college campus, to redeem the city, the make an impact, to make a difference, to be a church that would be missed if the doors closed. That's why we came. I have to confess in my own life that what has actually gottten sleepy is my personal vision and pursuit of those goals. Meeting new people, building new relationships, prayerwalking, and serving my community has given way to maintaining a church, leading a staff, having a bunch of meetings, and surviving the weekly worship grind. That simply will not due any longer. It's time to do what we came here to do, by the grace of God.

If you're a River Stoner reading this, I pray that God would grant you your own personal sleeplessness for San Marcos. I pray that we would start dreaming dreams, having visions, and being the Resurgence that God has called us to be in our community.

Now, that's just a glimpse of what happened, and to be frank. I'm tired and going to bed.

Blessings to you. God Bless.

Big Daddy Ibex

2006-05-04T14:39:00.000-07:00

Please forgive my gap between blogs. I've been meaning to get this one down for a while, but I think it's worth the wait. Last week I actually took a day off - it was wierd - I admit - and took my family to the zoo. Jacob had been talking about it for a week, and it was part of his reward for his continued progress in peepeeing in the potty. Anyway, it's been a while since I've been to the zoo, and we had a great time. Like all zoos, the smell was atrocious, but it didn't prevent us from standing in awe and wonder of the detail and majesty our creator put on display in each and every animal. Every one unique, specifically adapted, colorful, inspiring, scary ... it's all there. So, we walked around, saw everything, and were about to leave when we stumbled on to something amazing ... the IBEX exhibit. At first glance an Ibex looks like a cross between a goat and a deer - crazy looking little things. As we were approaching them, a zookeeper said if you look closely, one has just given birth. Sure enough, less than 5 minutes before we got there a baby Ibex had been born. You can see him there in the picture. Momma was still down from the birthing experience, and when we got there there was no Daddy in sight. Within a few minutes, Momma had licked the baby clean. Within another few minutes he was trying to stand up. He's not even ten minutes old, and he's standing up - amazing. I was impressed. Then I was scared. I was scared because Momma decided she wanted to give birth up on a cliff. As this baby Ibex was stumbling around for the first time, he was making his way very close to the edge of the cliff. There was no way his tiny body would survive a fall of that magnitude. I found myself getting mad. I couldn't believe that this precious Ibex 10 minutes old was going to come crashing down to a horrible death. Worse than that, Momma was unable to help because she was unable to move yet. I couldn't watch anymore. I'm serious. I turned my head because I didn't want to watch. Then out of nowhere, Daddy Ibex lept up the cliff and nudged the Baby up to safety. What I didn't see, that I see in this picture is that it looks like Momma was crying out, and then Daddy came through. After he saved the baby, he never got far enough away that he couldn't quickly come through for the baby.

It just made me think about God coming through for me - saving the day, making a way for me to be safe - in Him. Sometimes I venture out too close to the edge, and He's always nudging me back to where He knows I need to be. It also inspired me as a Dad to give my son freedom to explore, but to always be there to keep him safe - to never be so far away that I can't come through for Him.

That's what I learned from the zoo.

Celebrating a Miracle ...

2006-04-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

One of River Stone's first miracles turned one today... which actually means the miracle is about a year and 9 months old. In our first couple weeks of existence as a church, not only did we find out that Brian & Christy were going to have a baby, we find out they were going to have two babies, and we found out that something was wrong. Come to find out the babies were conjoined.

On our second Sunday, we brought them to the front and prayed believing a miracle was going to happen. We prayed for separation. When they went to the specialist the next week, they looked at the previous information and agreed that they were conjoined, but at this point they were no longer one, but two.

The girls were born prematurely and spent a bit of time in the NICU in Austin, but today they are amazing. Two beautiful little girls with character, personality, senses of humor, and an amazing story to tell when they get older. When I watch them crawl around, try to stand up, clap and laugh, capture the attention of anyone within view, and pull my goatee, I stand in awe of the greatness of our God. He still works miracles. Tonight I was reminded of the miracle of Adalynn and Mikaiah.

Thanks for the reminder, girls. You're beautiful.

Like the Wind

2006-04-21T07:18:00.000-07:00

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." ~ John 3:8

That's what I kept thinking when Jake and I were flying our kite last weekend. I don't remember the last kite flying experience I had, but it didn't take me long to realize that this kite flying stuff is fun. I had more fun than Jacob, and I wouldn't rest until I had let out the entire spool of string. Our park location wasn't ideal - it was kind of a bowl surrounded by hills and trees that encouraged swirling type winds. Right when I thought we were doing - it came crashing down all the way to the ground. So, I would run, dip, pull, backpeddle, kneel down - whatever I had to do to put the kite in the way of the upswirls. Once it was up, I let Jake hold it all by himself. He did great and didn't let go. He also loved running and chasing me across the field as I was fighting with the kite. For some reason, Holly always positioned herself right where the kite would dive-bomb all the way to the ground. I'm happy to report that no injuries were incurred, but a lesson was learned by me...

When we live our lives under the influence of the Holy Spirit, we can not predict what it will be like. It's not up to us to predict and manipulate the ups and downs. The Spirit (like the wind) takes us up and down, and sideways, then rapidly up, then gliding effortlessly, then through a very difficult time, then ultimately as high as you can possible go. That kite was most impressive when it was fluttering loudly and the streamers off the tail were flying wildly due to being caught in the strength of the wind. The wind blew wherever it pleased, and I had to do a lot of running, pulling and inconvenient stuff to get where it was. Once I was there, it was beautiful.

We were meant to live at the mercy of the wind that we can't see, but we know is there. Sometimes it takes us high, other times low. Sometimes we have to readjust to find ourselves back in the influence of the wind. Life in the Spirit is the best life ever ... never dull, never predictable, up, down, loud, quiet, but most importantly soaring high under a power beyond what we could accomplish on our own.

Maybe you should fly a kite this weekend ...

God Bless.

He took my place

2006-04-16T14:39:00.000-07:00

At a Ecumenical, Good Friday Service a couple of days ago, I carried a cross. When they passed out a sign up sheet a couple of months ago, the only thing on the list I was remotely interested in was carrying the cross. Everyone else did a dramatic (actually a not-so dramatic) reading of John 19. The text was amazing, but the emotion was lacking. Many of those who were reading were friends of mine, and they were serious about what they were reading, but they were just reading. I had no idea that what I signed up for would affect me.

As I carried the cross down the aisle to the stage to stand it up, I was reminded of the million images of Jesus carrying His cross I've seen over the years. I was reminded that Jesus told me that unless I take up my cross daily then I cannot be His disciple. This cross carrying is serious business, and all of the sudden I was very honored to be carrying this big piece of wood. After all, it was my sin that sent Jesus there. It was my shame that He took. It was my pain that He bore. It was my public humiliation that he embraced. On Good Friday I remembered that the only reason that anything Good is - is because of the cross.

Recently the Lord put some words in my heart about a song I was wanting to write, and the bridge simply says this ...

It should've been me hanging on that tree
Exposed for all the world to see
I owed a debt that I could not pay
And dead in my sins I would have stayed ...

Thank You, Lord Jesus for the sacrifice You made on the cross. Thank You for taking my place. Thank You for making a way for me. I love You.

A Great Day

2006-04-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day. It started with a productive early morning reading some articles and preparing for Staff Meeting. I love Staff Meetings. It's great to get to hang out with guys you enjoy and talking about the thing you love to do. A meeting followed which was painless, then more talking with folks at our facility... and then the fun begins.

From there I went to the HEB to stock up for dinner. Tonight we had our staff over (except Kaysa and her fam who are out of town) for a celebration. That's right the Astros Opening Day is an event worthy of much celebrating. We're not talking about mass produced spaghetti for dinner either - that's right. It was the breaking out of the grill for the first time this season. Steak, potatoes, salad, bread, and banana splits. I told you it was a celebration.

Unfortunately this is the first time we've all been able to be together like this in a long time, but fortunately it was great. It was great to be surrounded by folks we've been called to do life with. It was great to hold babies, to catch up, to laugh, to argue, to break bread together, to embrace the reality that God has handed to us. I know my friends don't enjoy baseball as much as I do, but they came knowing that it was a celebration special to me. I was honored to have them here. Could Acts 2 be this simple? Loving, laughing, eating, deepening friendships, sharing life, and Jesus being the glue that brings it all together - man, that's good.

I was excited about baseball, basketball and a new episode of 24. But it ended up being much more ... sharing life, investing in each other, growing together. The best part ... tomorrow we do it all again with our Overflow Group. Food, friends, Bible, prayer, and who knows what else. May the sharing of life continue, and I hope that if we haven't been able to share it with you for a while that it would happen soon.

You know what else (one last thing)? It's fun going to the store, working hard to prepare a good meal, and serving it to your friends. I highly recommend it and a reading of Acts 2.

Did I mention the Astros won? Did I mention that this day is made greater by the fact that when everyone leaves, I'm left at home with a beautiful, wonderful wife who allows me to plan random celebrations for seemingly trivial things even when she doesn't feel that great and an energetic three year old who was quick to remind me that opening day wasn't all about me when he began asking, "now can we play trains... daddy, let's build a biiiiiiigg track". Life is precious and we should celebrate it more often.

God Bless and have a great day!

Cash Flow

2006-03-28T10:09:00.000-08:00

In the past year, we've learned more about trusting God in the area of money than ever before. I learned another lesson this weekend that God really does order what he pays for.

In Malachi 3, God invites us to test Him in the area of tithing. In other words, He will provide for our monetary needs when we're giving Him the first 10 percent and whatever else He tells us to give.

My friend Norman said that whenever he speaks in other churches, he always puts something in the offering so he can invest in that ministry. As I was pulling into Starbucks (thank you Jesus for Sunday nights at River Stone) early Sunday morning before preaching twice at Grand Parkway in Sugar Land, I remembered the words of my friend. I immediately began to feel convicted about investing in their ministry, but the battle raged in my mind that we can't really afford it. We're about to buy a house, and we need every extra penny we can get. Then the words, "test me in this" echoed in my head. I used my debit card to buy my venti caramel latte, and got some cash back for the offering at Grand Parkway. Then it occurred to me that there were two services, and I wanted to contribute in each service, so I went to buy a pack of gum so I could get some change. I was going to put ten bucks in each service. Well, the only checkout lane that was open was the self-checkout and there was no one around. I've never used cash at the self-checkout. So, I put in my $20 for my $1.05 gum. When my change came out, instead of there being $18.95 there was $23.95. Again, what do I do? There's no one around, and I'm running late. I decided this transaction was providence and that I would drop it in the offering plate. You probably would've hunted down a manger and told him the story of the machine making an error and had him stuff the money back in the machine. I took this as an act of justice for all of the times the self-checkout has ruined my day. Anyway, stop judging me and read on ...

So, I got to the church and put on the mic and some guys wanted to pray for me. These guys were older and wiser than me, men who have served the Lord for a long time who take great delight in asking God to do great things in worship that day. After convincing one of them that I really was the guy who was preaching that day ... they laid hands on me, and I felt the thermostat in the room elevate to "Holy Spirit is Here". It was amazing. The Lord was answering their prayers, and it was beautiful. When we were done praying, one of the men put something in my pocket. He said, "I made a little extra money this week, and while we were praying God told me to give it to you." I told him thanks, and thanked Jesus that His Word is true and does not return void. This is the kind of stuff that never happened to me until recently, and now it happens all the time. A dinner here, a reimbursement at just the right time, a rebate in the knick of time, a servant with an extra Benjamin. It makes it a lot easier to write that tithe check every week in order to continue to receive the blessing and provision of God. Thank you, Jesus, and thank you again Norman for your continual teaching. It goes on even when you go back to the UK.

My challenge is to test God in the area of finances. Read Malachi 3 if you have any questions. God Bless.

A Short Bus Tale ...

2006-03-20T22:02:00.000-08:00

It is true that in my elementary school days, I was a beneficiary of the school bus. For the most part, I was not a big fan. Many times I found ways to miss the bus so that I would have alternative means of transportation. One time I hid from the substitute bus driver. Other times I chose to walk all the way home in the Houston heat. I didn't enjoy the school bus experience, and it was quite a dose of reality for a kid.

For a couple of those years, the bus that I was assigned to (#772) was shorter than many of the normal busses. It was a "short bus" as seen on the left here - a Bluebird to be specific. While it was short in length (not height), it did not contain seatbelts, rails, lifts, or any other "special" features. It was just short. That's all. The other bus seen above is also a "short bus" complete with lift, seatbelts, rails, special mirrors, and more. My bus (#772) did not have any special equipment.

Recently, my beautiful wife and my friend Brian thought that it would be funny to dwell, and when I say dwell I mean beating the horse for about an hour past the time it breathed its last, on the fact that my sole transportation to and from school was a bus that was not as long as many other busses. It was a "short bus", but not the "short bus" that you're thinking of. I furthermore won't reveal the derogatory slang that they used to refer to the bus on the right, and for some reason I have an overwhelming need to explain this to the general public since my wife and my friend won't listen.

While I learned important lessons about life (it hurts a lot less to be punched in the back than in the arm or head, all cuss words are not created equal, some bus drivers have a phallic symbol on their key chain, that you can in fact peel out in a bus, when the guy next to you had pancakes for breakfast - his clothes smell like it all day, being introduced to rap music from the small boom box above the driver's mirror, if you got to the bus stop early you could work in a game of Excitebike at Sunny's, do unto others as you would have them to unto you, etc.) I never considered my bus experience "special", even though apparently some close to me - whom I didn't know at the time - do.

I also must say that at the end of elementary school, my bus was big - large - huge - full size. That's right, I was not limited to the "short bus" for my entire elementary school career. I eventually grew out of it.

While I don't have any animosity or ill-will towards those who rode the bus on the right, I did not ride THAT bus, and I feel more than compelled to plead my case on this matter in this context. So, thank you "short bus" for my many lessons learned and for preparing me for the ridicule and mocking I now must endure because of you. I'm a better and more complete person for riding you, and my heart hurts for those who were robbed of the opportunity to learn what I have learned. God Bless the "Short Bus".

Many Blessings to all Former Riders of the "Short Bus".

The End.

The Dam Church Theory

2006-02-25T21:53:00.002-08:00

Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." ~John 7:37-38

We have been studying the book of John for a long time, and my life and view of Jesus has been radically changed as a result. One of those changes came about from this passage.

Jseus tells us that the Holy Spirit will equip us and lead to overflow living water (Jesus). The streams element of this really got me thinking about the functionality of church. Rivers (I'm using this interchangebly with streams) are these huge systems that carry water downstream to places that need it. Rivers always branch off into streams and tributaries. Over time rivers mold the land they flow through. Hello! The Grand Canyon was formed as the result of the river that runs through it. The objects in the river are also changed... River Stones are smooth and beautiful. Think of the whole life system that exists beneath the surface. Fish, snakes, turtles, plants ... the river maintains life. Water sustains, nourishes, shapes, refreshes, carries life. Rivers always empty into a much bigger significant body of water. They're always a part of something bigger than themselves. What an amazing picture.

Since the Church is not something you go to, and it's something that you are...and if Christ-followers are to have streams of living water flowing out from them...then our churches should be these celebrations of living water flowing. When I think of rivers I think of the big ones - the Nile, the Amazon, the Colorado, the Mississippi. I think of rapids and powerful rushes of water that are uncontrollable. In addition to receiving what's necessary from rivers, we receive joy from rivers. San Marcos and New Braunfels summers are filled with people floating the river. Why? Becasue the river is moving and riding it is fun.

Here's the problem. I think churches are much more like lakes than rivers. Instead of realizing that we have the ultimate source of life that a world desperately needs. Instead of praying that God would flow his living water out of us to the hopeless, helpless, and hurting. We've built dams. We've stopped the flow of the living water. Why? Because we like it. It makes us feel good. In the lakes we swim, we ski, we fish (that's a whole other blog - "fishing" where the fish are...), we lay out, we have a picnic, we spend the day. We think that church is about us. We think that living water is something that Jesus gave us to feel good. Jesus puts the Living Water of His Spirit in us so that we can be a part of letting it flow to others. Look at the little flow of water coming out of this dam. Now look at the river above the dam. We tend to manipulate, control, and rationalize how much water comes out. We open and close the valves at will - it's all up to us how much God we overflow to others. That's not the way Jesus intended for it to play out. When the river flows, it flows wherever it wants, it flows powerfully, and it brings life. Shouldn't the church be more influential because we've earned the respect of our communities with an outpouring of love. Shouldn't we be known for how much we give away and not for how fancy our facilities are? Shouldn't we be helping those who need help? Shouldn't we be out to do something about the fact that our world associates us with the "Christians" on TV. Maybe it's time to follow Christ.

Jesus broke all the rules of the religious. He caused division among the leaders. He brought life to those who didn't have a chance. Maybe when you look at your life, like I've recently done at mine, you find a lake where a river should be. It was never solely for our enjoyment. The irony is there's not greater joy than bringing life. I promise it's a lot more fun to trust God to overflow wherever He decides and not where we decide. Let's make a pact...let's get rid of the "Dam church" and let the river flow.

Thanks for putting up with my ranting ... I'm a little passionate about this one.

Oh No ...

2006-02-25T21:53:00.001-08:00

This past week at church, God led me to share testimony about the journey we've been on the past year and a half. I won't go into all the details here as I went into great detail Sunday night. (The entire message is on-line at www.river-stone.org or www.myspace.com/rscc)

The jist of it is that we cannot experience the full glory of God in our lives until we are desperate for Him. In the past year, I've gotten glimpses of desperation. We've had to learn to trust God in ways that were at one time foreign. I would've told you that I was trusting God, but the reality is that I was trusting myself. In order for me to come to a place of actual trust in God and not in me, He had to walk me down a path that at times has been uncomfortable. We've had to trust God to make financial ends meet, for provision, for food, for a bed, for many other things that in a former time we could've provided for ourselves.

On a trip home from HEB Saturday night, I was having a moment with my Savior in the car feeling extra grateful for the provision of groceries in the back. I was remembering times of Ramen Noodles in the recent past. I was remembering our friend Norman's stories of the poor and hungry overseas. I was thinking about different experiences of hardships and how I've learned to trust Him more. I was strangely moved. I was humbled. I was thankful.

My trusty 3 year old was in the back recovering from the rejection of all the No's he'd just experienced at the store as he attempted to drive up the bill with additions of toys, candy, and chocolate. He loves the store. He loves to help bring in the groceries ... and drop them in the middle of the kitchen floor. He loves awaiting the opening of the bags and asking, "What you got for me?". So, as we're on our way home, and I'm having a solemn assembly in the front seat - I hear him begin to sing. This is something he's started to do more and more. Sadly his songs are usually "Little Einsteins" or "Thomas the Tank Engine" related, but this song was different. He began to sing one of my new favorite worship songs...

"Oh no, you never let go,
through the calm and through the storm.
Oh no, you never let go, in every
high and every low.
Oh no, you never let go,
Lord you never let go of me."

God spoke to me about my difficult season and the difficult seasons of people that I love. He reminded me of the truth of this song, and also that He never leaves us or forsakes us, and that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. For those of us who've walked through the valley of the shadow recently ... Immanuel ... God is with us. For those of you hungry for God, the difficult season may be coming and ... Immanuel ... God is with us. Thank You, Jesus.

PS - I could also spend a lot of time talking about how special it was for my son to lead me in worship. I don't even know how he knows that song. He's in KidsRock when we sing it, and I've only sung it around the house a few times when I was learning it. Amazing that God puts things in our hearts in order to use it to minister to others. Thanks, Jake ... I love you. Here is the song Jacob led me in ... "You Never Let Go" by Matt and Beth Redman.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught
in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back, I know You are near.

PreChorus:
And I will fear no ev   -  il,
For my God is wi - th me.
And if my God is wi - th me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Chorus:
O no, You never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
O no, You never let go,
In every high and every low
O no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me.

Verse 2:
And I can see a light
that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end
to these troubles, But until that day comes,
We'll live to know You here on the earth.

Bridge:
Yes, I can see a light that is coming
for the heart that holds on,
And there will be an end to these troubles,
but until that day comes,
Still I will praise You,
still I will praise You.

The nicest thing anyone has ever said to me...

2006-02-16T11:07:00.000-08:00

So, it was a pretty typcial valentine's day - meetings by morning and lunch, checking in on an elementary school by afternoon, a little computer work to finish off the work day before getting ready for our Valentine's (check out http://www.theresurgence.com/ for a great history of Valentine's Day) rendevouz. My first stop was the annual trip to the Connelly Car Wash. The Durango had grown quite gritty in recent months inside and out due to countless happy meals spilled in the back seat by Jacob, my wife's obsession with using the passenger door pocket as a really big trash can, and my inability to take empty bottles and coffee cups into the house or closest garbage receptacle. So, the car was dirty.

I waited my turn, threw some stuff away, and talked to the guy about the car wash I wanted. I decided to splurge for the wheel and tire treatment (I can't express to you the joy I receive from Armour All). I then took my ticket inside the car wash waiting room which could easily have been confused with an indoor flea market. I looked around at all the junk and paid for my car wash while anxiously awaiting my turn to follow my car down the car wash through the 4 big glass windows in the flea market. Once it appeared to be safely through, I went outside to wait. This is where it happened.

I was sitting on a bench talking on the cell phone... waiting. There were 4 cars being dried. Mine was one, a beat-up Chevy Malibu was another, and two - count them - two Corvettes. One was a mid 90's model, and one was a new C6 as pictured above, but black. As I ended my phone call, I was noticing how our car looked pretty good for an almost four year old family SUV. Mid-thought, a snappingly dressed gentleman in his mid 50's, who also happened to be the owner of the 90's model corvette, approached me cautiously and respectfully and inquired of me, "Is that your C6?" Immediately, I was taken back. I was filled with a sense of pride and accomplishment. I stood a little taller, lifted my head a little higher, stuck my neck out a little bit and replied, "No, unfortunately No." I didn't appreciate the magnitude of what had happened until later. A member of the Corvette family accepted me and welcomed me as one his own. To him, for a moment, I looked the part of the owner of one of the coolest cars to ever touch the road. As a former motorhead who used drag racing as my drug in high school, it was the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me.

Immediately following, I found out they lost two of my hubcaps in the carwash somewhere in the "trough". I didn't care.

From there, I went to pick up flowers (which we later found out we were both allergic to), went home to pick up my beautiful valentine, dropped the kid and picked up Brian & Christy, and went on to a wonderful dinner and murder mystery experience. It was a great day!

In case you're waiting for the spiritual parallel or what God taught me through this experience ... sorry, this moment was strictly for my ego and pride. Thank you, Jesus.

I love the Church

2006-02-07T10:22:00.000-08:00

Over the course of my ministry career I think that perhaps I have been the biggest critic of the Church. This is ironic for a number of reasons. First of all I have surrendered my life to serving this thing called Church and a couple of times a month I get a paycheck from that very Church. The very thing I've given my life to has caused me as much frustration as joy over the years - not necessarily the churches I've served in, but the bigger picture of the Church.

When people outside of church think about pastors or church people they think of bad TV shows hosted by old ladies with huge blue hair, way too much makeup, and lots of tears. Or maybe they remember televangelists having affairs. Or maybe they think of places where little boys are molested. Or maybe they think of the people responsible for bombing abortion clinics. Maybe they even remember boycotting Disney or forcing wives to submit. Or there's the issue of whether or not we hate people who are gay. I don't remember the last time the church got national run for anything good. Locally, churches get some decent press every once in a while, but as a whole it's been very disappointing what we're known for. It seems we're known more for what we don't do than what we do. The tension I've felt in this area over the years is much.

However, a little over a year ago, God allowed us to start a new church called River Stone. Since that time we've deconstructed every thing we learned about church. We questioned everything, studied scripture intently, prayed a lot, and decided a lot of things that we didn't want to be. The problem with deconstruction is that when you're done you're not left with anything. If you want to be a part of growing a church, at some point you've got to begin construction of what God has called you to be. I think that we've stumbled on to what God has called us to be.

God wants us to be pro-Church. Not pro River Stone, but pro Church. I was honored to be able to lead worship at a sister church in our town this week. I stopped to think during the message how we had another worship team leading at another partner church in our community. Here we are serving two churches we're not even a part of. During the message of the church I was serving, I began thinking about how different our churches were. A year ago, I would've thought that our way of doing church was better or more "right." Thank you Jesus that I've been humbled to the point of seeing the value in any type of church that desires to be who God has created them to be who preach the Gospel of Jesus unapologetically. This church, though different, was much the same. Preaching the Word, worshiping through song with a band, offering programs for people to plug into for spiritual growth ... maybe we're not so different after all.

A major point of revelation was, "I love the Church". It hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't just love my church, but I love the big C Church. The bride of Christ is something worthy of investing my life in, and now that I'm pro-Church, not just my church, it is an honor to partner, invest, and serve the other churches in our community or your community or our global community.

Thank you, Jesus for the Church. May you bring Your kingdom to earth through your bride. May we love, honor, and cherish her everyday, may we pour our lives into her, may we experience Your love for her and walk empowered in that love. I love the Church. Amen.

Robbed

2006-01-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

As many of you probably know a couple of weeks ago we got robbed. I walked into our apartment to find DVD's scattered all over the floor, our video camera gone, my playstation - gone, Holly's computer - almost gone. We think I scared them off. That's right - they were in my apt. when I went to open the door. I came in the back, they ran out the front.

In many ways I was already thanking Jesus when I went to bed. It couldn't been worse. My media computer (the mac) was at the church and my other laptop was in the car. Both of those would've been gone and I don't know what I would've done. The same for my music stuff - all at the church. I was feeling very blessed that I didn't actually walk in on these guys, and that the stuff that I really care about/need was protected.

A few hours later the guys tried to sell my playstation to some other guys a few doors down in the Motel 6. That's right, they were from out of town - FT. Worth actually. They came in robbed two apts, then stayed to party in San Marcos. Then, they unloaded all my stuff into the Motel 6 and tried to sell it to the guys 3 doors down. The deal went bad, a fight broke out, someone called the cops and I found my stuff. They arrested the guys and told me they would be calling me to pick up my stuff. I got the call yesterday. I went and picked up what they confiscated. A duffle bag full of 71 DVD's (I can't believe we have that many DVD's, but many of them were hot titles like Bob the Builder, Thomas and his Friends - quality stuff), my video camera, my PS2 controllers, but no playstation. Even though I saw it at the scene, it didn't make it back to the Police Station somehow. So, they filed a request for restitiution on my behalf. I'm not going to be waiting by the mailbox.

So, a week and a half later the intial emotions of fear and caution are subsiding. For the first few days we couldn't sleep, every noise woke us up. Lights were left on, and I found myself getting up multiple times during the night to check the locks. Since they tracked mud into our apt, our office had the carpets cleaned for us. It's amazing what clean carpets will do. Today, we feel safe, know we were not a planned target, retained all of our stuff (except the playstation), and are content to live out our lease here through the end of May.

Thank you for your prayers. We had many people ask about us, call us, and e-mail us. I know that your praying for us gave us strength to make it through a difficult time. God is good, it could've been so much worse, and we could've lost a lot more. Thank you Jesus.

However, if the people who robbed us, or if you're considering robbing us, are reading this - we're soon to be protected by Smith & Wesson. God Bless America!

Seriously, thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and support. It made a big difference in our lives.

Head, Heart, then Hands

2005-10-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

Recently we've been discussing our existence statement, "A Community of Christ-followers continually devoted to pursuing the fullness of God". It has come up repeatedly in our staff discussions that for too long the church has focused on the how and not the why. Even in the fleshing out of why we exist as a church it is possible to focus on the how and not the why. Why do we even desire to exist as a church? Because the love of Christ pursued us, found us, engaged us, changed our lives, and gave us a desire (and an opportunity) to serve Him by serving others. Paul says, "the love of Christ compels us." Compels us to what? For us, we feel compelled to pursue the fullness of God.

Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle says that the fullness of God has to do with experiencing Him with your head, your heart, and your hands. Experiencing God with our head describes our knowledge of God. We know about Him, we know who He is. We can tell you what He's like, what He's done throughout time, that He sent His son to die in our place and to pay the price for our sin. We know a lot about God, don't we? But knowing or even believing in God is not enough (even the demons believe that and shudder). There's no fullness in knowledge alone. We must next move to the heart.

You experience things with your heart when you spend time together. When we know or believe in God, we are drawn to Him, we want to find out more, we want to spend time with Him. As we spend time with Him, listen to Him talk to us through Scripture, pray and meditate on Him, worship Him, etc - something happens. We see that the love and grace He lavishes on us was not only for ourselves but for the good of others who haven't experienced Him. My heart, the center of my emotions, is sparked by being with God. When we are ignited by spending heart time with God, we are urged to take another step ... hands.

Hands has to do with serving. This can also be referred to as works. Works has become an attention getting word in the world of the heart. After all, works don't get you to heaven, knowing God does. Working hard isn't what gave us the right to be forgiven, grace did. It is true that faith is by grace through faith alone, but that's an incomplete picture of following Christ - especially pursuing His fullness. When we know God with our heads, experience Him and feel Him with our hearts, we are compelled to serve Him and live for Him with our hands. Ephesians says that God sets apart certain things for us to do and prepares/equips us to do them. If I don't make it to the works, then I'm not full.

I'm afraid that we've become comfortable hanging out in the heart and not made it to the hands. Now, there are plenty of people who are trying to bypass the heart with works and performance, but that doesn't work either. God is not impressed with our activity alone. God loves us, draws us to Him, then hand-picks us for specific tasks that in return give him the Glory that is due Him.

My prayer is that we struggle through these things. Our knowledge of God (and the things of God) should increase daily. Our experience of Him with our heart should also increase daily through the time we spend with Him. Finally, our lives should be consumed with doing the works and performance that He has created us to do. Intimacy with Him compels us to activity that He has prepared in advance for us to do. So, we shouldn't be afraid of works. For it is by His grace and love we are able to know Him and to participate in His drawing all people to Him.

Thank you, Jesus, that in spite of my humanity and depravity that you have prepared and empowered me to work for You as a part of Your plan. Use my head, my heart, and my hands.

All in the Family

2005-10-01T16:39:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest joys of a young church is knowing everybody. It's easy to get to know not only the heads of families, but the kids also. We don't have a bunch of programming for children, so we spend a lot of time together, and I've never been more grateful for that than Friday night.

We had a night we called "Porch & Altar". It was an intimate night of prayer and worship. Kaysa led us through a Lord's Prayer model of praying, and it was a great time of interaction with our Heavenly Father. When it came time to repent of our sin, to confess our depravity, and to allow God to forgive us and cleanse us ... one of our kids did that for the first time. It was one of the greatest joys of my ministry career. Brian and I were leading worship from the stage. We were singing Martin Smith's "Majesty" and I saw this young man tell his dad what was going on. Then I saw him tell his mom. It was beautiful. This young man was no stranger to God. He sits in worship every week soaking up truth like a sponge. Just this week his dad and I were talking about how close he was getting to becoming a Christ-follower. Friday night, with his parents praying on both sides of him, God called and he answered. I was later pondering the tragedy of many kids coming to that point with people they barely know at a camp or retreat or programmed event. Since it is the job of parents to disciple their own kids, I felt such a sense of completion watching this experience unfold. A 5th grader was saved with no invitation, no plea from a pastor desperate to see salvation - only the pursuit of a loving heavenly Father.

I pray that my son is raised in such a way that the love of God surrounds him continually. I pray that he would daily become more aware of what God is about and how powerful His love is. I pray that God would call him as clearly as he did my friend on Friday night, and I pray that just as my friend did, that he would recognize the voice of the shepherd immediately.

I was so relieved that as we pray for salvation in our church and in our community that I didn't have to do anything for salvation to happen except provide an environment of connecting with God. It truly is God's job to build the church - not mine.

Thank you Father, for drawing men to You as You are lifted up. May we see this continually. Amen.

Congratulations, Jack! You're an amazing example.

Where Religion Finally Dies

2005-07-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

I've always loved the Darrell Evans song, "Fields of Grace." The line, "There's a place where religion finally dies" is very profound for me. As I've been studying and preparing messages from the book of Acts, I've been enlightened to more of the significance of that song.

Jesus was killed by religious people. The government tried to let him go, the religious people demanded that he be crucified. The government was scared of the crazy religious people so they complied. A little while later, this guy Stephen shows up who's doing what Jesus did. He's teaching, he's healing, he's serving, he's proclaiming the message of the Gospel. He's real, he's wise, and he can't be argued with. While many religious people (priests to be exact) were walking away from the shackles of religion into the freedom of Jesus, the most religious people were so threatened that they had to do something. So, they grabbed him and killed him.

Right before he died, Stephen delivered the most comprehensive Gospel presentation in the entire book of Acts. He painted the big picture for the religious. Here's my summary:
God loved you so much that He led you out of captivity into the promised land. He gave you the law and said He would take care of if you would just live by it. You thought your way was better. You thought your plan would work out in the end. He sent prophet after prophet to help you see that you were putting yourself above God. You would torture and kill anyone who was different than you. You were worshiping weird gods, with a a particular affinity toward sexually immoral ones. You separated yourself from God b/c you ran your plan. So now, same song ... about the 5th verse. Jesus came to allow you to be free. He died so that you might experience life. Walk away from your traditions created by man. Religion is sin. You've missed it ... again.

What they didn't know was that this was God's last plea to His chosen people. That's why it's so long. He wanted them to be able to understand, but one last time ... they missed it. From this point on, God sent the message to those who would receive it.

This is the way I see it here and now. When we follow Jesus, the religious people will hate us, or at the very least not understand us. Yes, those comfortable with their status in "church" - complete with rank, title, policies & procedures - will look at those who are following Christ differently and pass judgment. They will assume the Christ-followers are not right in their manner of worhsip. They will be threatened and afraid. In the end they will try to destroy the Christ-follower. Jesus was opposed to religion when He walked the earth, and today his followers still should be. The problem is religion in churches is the status quo. Statements like, "'we've never done that before" or "it doesn't feel like church" are indications of religion. A living breathing relationship with Christ eliminates the opportunity for religion. If we want to thrive as a Church, religion must be dead. Religion dies in a relationship with Christ.

As we've been questioned by the religious, we've faced statements like, "You're not going to make it," "You're a cult," "You're just a church for college students," "You're a fad," "when are you going to start meeting on Sunday mornings like a real church" and on and on. All I can say right now is that at the moment we've won the approval of the religious is the moment that we're not following Christ. It would also be easy to say that we're rebellious or liberal. The reality is that those who encountered Jesus would've said the same of Him. I don't mean to say that we've reached the place where we look like Jesus, but as long as we don't look like religion - I'll be happy with the progress we're making.

"There's a place where religion finally dies,
There's a place where I lose my selfish pride."
-- Darrell Evans, "Fields of Grace"

May we have the strength and boldness to never find ourselves in the status quo of religion, but may we float in the wind of the Holy Spirit as He blows us in whatever direction He chooses.

Your Life is a Mission Trip

2005-07-05T11:09:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, we (Holly, John, Clay, Brian, Mark and I) had the opportunity to accompany Grand Parkway Baptist Church's students on a mission trip. They were serving City Church in Amarillo. Our experience taught me a lot as the week went on.

First of all, City Church loves their community. They feed thousands of kids every month. They feed the kids of people who spend food money on drugs. They take the food into the 'hoods where these kids live. What they've gained in the process is an opportunity to procalim the message of Jesus. The week we were there, the church held a three day crusade to reach out to the families of these kids. Jesus earned the right to talk to people about who He was because of the unbelievable love He lavished on people. City Church modeled this. The beauty was that these people did "church" completely different than we would have, but God used it. You know what was more important than the style of how they ministered? It was that God had told them to do it, and they said, Yes, Lord. We learned a lot - not that we need to go home and do that, but that we need to continue to be who God has created us to be in our community.

I learned something else from my Father-in-law, the Yoda of Youth Ministry. Rick told the kids in a teaching time, "Your life is a mission trip." What a concept. How could I have missed that? Why do we think we have to spend some money and go to a different place to do missions? The reality is that now people are sending missionaries to the United States to reach the pre-Christian population. We should be offended! We should be filled with holy anger! That's why God put us here - to reach our community. We are missionaries. Wherever you live, your life is a mission trip. If we lived each day as if it were a mission trip, we would see the Kingdom of God growing in our daily lives. Acts says that day by day and house by house people were being added to the Kingdom. That's an attainable goal for us or any community of Christ-followers continually devoted to pursuing the fullness of God. Let's live on mission together and pray that the Kingdom would come on earth, maybe even in San Marcos.

Move

2005-06-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

Father,

Thank you for the priviledge of serving you. Thank you for allowing me to see that my best efforts will never bring about the movement that my heart longs for. Father, forgive me for the wasted time hobnobbing in my Christian bubble. May I continue to learn the value you place on a not-yet believing individual. May I live a life surrendered and yielded to the movement of Your Spirit. May you breathe into me that I may breathe into others. May I learn to love those different than me, may I learn to interact as You would in my surroundings. May I let go of the need to build a great church. May I learn to let You do what You said You would, and may I continually be put into my place. Increase as I decrease.

Move in San Marcos, move into San Marcos, move through San Marcos. Move through the lives of Christ-followers, move through River Stone, move through the other churches. May your Kingdom come in San Marcos. May you have opportunity to move through lives surrendered and humbled. May your will be done. We want to see You lifted up as the most famous person in our community. May we not interfere with your movement, may we not hinder what You want to do. Flow through us. Fill us. Overflow out of us. Make grace, mercy, love, and hope reality for those around us who need it.

We are your witnesses. Call upon us to testify as to what we have seen You do in our lives. Expand your Kingdom.

Amen.

Innovating

2005-05-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

I saw an ad in a Consumer Electronics magazine recently that read, "If you're not innovating, you're just imitating."

What a profound statement that is. We live in a world of church copycats. Whatever is working somewhere, we think we can bring home, replicate it, and expect the same results. Imitating may be the most sincere form of flattery, but since when did the effectiveness of the Church have anything to do with flattery?

I have the utmost respect for Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, Ed Young, and on and on, but what makes these men great to me is their willingness to hear what the Lord has called them to do in their specific places and follow Him into their endeavors. That is the one thing we should imitate from them - their innovation.

Jesus was an innovater. He took the law, fulfilled it, demonstrated it, lived it, and equipped some guys who spent time with him to do the same. They in turn took the message of Jesus to different places in different ways and gave birth to the Church. None of the churches in the Bible were exactly the same. They were all different with different struggles, different strengths, and different people. Jesus trained them for diversity. Our churches should be diverse. They should be innovative. They should all have different strengths. They should work together to overcome weaknesses. They shouldn't waste time thinking, "Why didn't we think of that?" or "we should do that".

God has a plan and a purpose for every church. My prayer is that our church would be more focused on being innovators than imitators. Our success is not determined by the success of other churches. Our results are not dependent upon the same formulas and strategies of other churches. Our success asks, "Lord, what do you want us to be?" How can we be innovators in San Marcos? How can we compliment the churches that are already here? Are we hearing your voice for what you're calling us to be?

Lord, may you allow us to fight the temptation to be imitators. May we not compare ourselves with the "success" of other churuches. Teach us to be innovators. Teach us to be world changers. Teach us to leave a wake of Christ-followers behind us. Teach us to demonstrate Your love and law to a world that is begging to see it. Amen.

Prophecy

2005-05-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a long time, I was prophesied over. When I was a kid I used to go to a church that had a healing service, and my parents took me there one night because I had been diagnosed with Juvenile Rhumetoid Arthritis. I don't remember much, but I remember a lady whispering in my ear speaking to me about the timing of my healing. What I do remember is that her prophecy was not fulfilled ... well ... actually her timing was just a little off.

Today, our team spent the day with Norman and Grace Barnes. Norman is an internation minister who speaks, ministers, and supports ministries all over the world, literally in over 50 countries. His testmiony is amazing. God has used him in tremendous ways over the past 40 or so years. For whatever reason, the Lord has seen fit to connect us with him. He loves our church, and feels called to invest in it (and in us) for the long haul.

For the first half of the day we talked church - hallmarks of Kingdom-minded, successful churches. We learned a lot, had a lot of healthy discussion, and asked a lot of questions. The day flew by, and as we were drawing near time to leave, Norman suggested we see what the Holy Ghost had to talk to us about. This is the kind of stuff you don't learn in church planting books. We had all seen him prophecy to a college student named Erik two nights before, and it was amazing. None of us had ever met Erik until that Sunday night, and his life was an open book before Norman. He saw into his life, identified his past, and gave him hope for his future. It was amazing, and we were blessed by being a part of it. However, it's different when you know in advance that you're going to be prophesied over.

So, we began to pray, and I began to get a little nervous. Fortunately, he went to Clay first and addressed him. He used a word that I had to look up later to describe Clay, and told him that he saw the likeness of one of the disciples (he was very specific, but I don't feel led to share all the details) in him - amazing! If I could have said something to Clay, it would've been that, but I hadn't thought of it. Brian was next. He identified Brian's main gift, encouraged him in it, and boldly procalimed how he should use it. Again, amazing - what I would've said, but ... yep ... hadn't thought about it yet. Christy was next, then John, then Holly and I were the only ones left. Norman proceeded to speak words from the Lord into our lives. Some things we knew, some things were brand new, but all things were from the Lord. We knew it, we were praying through these things together, and we could feel the unity of the Spirit. It was pleasing to the Spirit and to us to hear from the Lord in this way.

It's amazing to me that God can and does use those who are willing to encourage others. Norman simply listened to God, and God spoke clear as day to me. He told me what I needed to hear for my current struggles, He affirmed me, challenged me, and allowed me to see things in myself that I had not yet seen. Some of the things, I've yet to see, and they are things I don't think I'm ready for at this point.

Norman said that someone prophesied over him once, and it took 20 something years for it to come to fruition. I guess where I am is that I'm so glad that God is in control of the plan for my life and for our church. He is in control. He is in the middle of everything we're doing. He is planning this thing out far in advance, and all He's asking me to do is to trust Him and walk with Him. Thank you, Jesus that Your grace is enough, and that you are true to Your Word. You're amazing me this week, and I am honored to be Your Son. I love You, and I pray that my love for You would overflow on and in to the world around me.

Activity and Adoration

2005-05-03T09:19:00.000-07:00

We are reading a great book as a staff entitled Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. In this week’s chapter on worship, we ran across a great quote. “Activity is the enemy of Adoration.” Let that sink in for a minute. Say it to yourself. I think this idea has some very significant implications for us.

Jesus tells us that He came that we may not only have life, but have it to the full. I guess the question I have is … full of what? There is no question that our lives are full of stuff. Full of school, full of work demands, full of extracurricular activities, full of recreation, full of finals, full of homework, and full of dysfunctional relationships. It seems that our lives are full, but not the kind of full that Jesus was talking about. He came that our lives may be full in Him, but my fear is that we’re so full of everything else that all we give to God is the left-overs. That spinach enchilada from Los Cucos is good microwaved on the second day, but it pales in comparison to the way it tasted when it first came out. Steaming hot, fresh out of the oven, dripping with cheese, accented with beans, rice, fresh vegetables and served with chips, salsa and green sauce. When you just have the left-overs, you’re missing out on the whole experience.

We are often settling for less that what we could have. I think we need to have a priority check. Is our “full” life keeping us from church? Are we neglecting meeting together with our community of believers because we’re too busy? Activity is the enemy of adoration. You were created to worship the Lord, to adore Him, to stand in awe. If it’s been a while since you’ve been at that place of worship, I’m willing to place a bet (I can do that now that I’m not Baptist anymore) that it’s because of too much activity. If activity has kept you away from worship, away from adoration, it’s time to confess that sin to the Lord, and make it right with Him. Don’t settle for once a month with the Lord when you could have it every day. Learn to say no, learn to be Still, and invest in the Kingdom and in your church.

Recovering thoughts from Vacation

2005-04-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

Holly and I just got back from about 10 days of being gone. We were on a cruise for 5 days, and we were in Houston for the remaining time. I learned some things while I was gone.

1st of all I was reminded of the greatness of our God. When all you see is blue in every direction, you're reminded of the hugeness of our creator. As if that wasn't statement enough (to be in the middle of the Gulf on a big boat seeing nothing but blue). It was that way for two days. After two days of trekking along at 20-25 knots, we arrived at Cozumel, then we stopped also at Playa del Carmen. In a word, the water and beaches were majestic. Pure white sand, Clear blue water. It was beautiful. We were able to sit back and enjoy the sun, swim with the fish, and experience a whole other culture. The Kingdom is so much bigger than us. It was good for me to be reminded of that.

2nd - I realized how addicted I am to our community (of Christ-followers). After 5 days, I was ready to be home. Vacation was great, rest was great, relaxation was great, but being apart from the people we've come to do life with over the past few months was difficult. We only missed one Sunday, but it felt like we were gone forever. We realized how strong of a connection we have with the people of our church. It was great to be gone, but it's greater to be home.

Finally, I was reminded of how great a team we have at River Stone. At no time did I worry about how worship was going while I was gone - I knew. I didn't even think about it until 6:15 pm on Sunday evening when I felt like I should be doing something. God has truly blessed us with a tremendous team of talented people, and I love the diversity of having interchangable people leading our church in worship. We are truly blessed.

So, as I'm still recovering from my cruise hangover (the rocking has finally stopped), I am more in tune with what I love about my life, my church, and my community.

Blessings -

Jason

The Rest of the Story

2005-04-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

Last week as I was in Houston, the guys planned worship for this past Sunday where it was my turn to lead worship. In the context of the planning, they decided to have me sing a song I wrote last summer. I wrote it at time when I was angry, and I realized that my anger was limiting the power of the Holy Spirit in my life. So, here is my cry - I hope it blesses you.

Jason

THE REST OF THE STORY

If time really heals, then why do I feel, this emptiness inside me still?
It’s been a long, long, time, But my heart can’t seem to find
Anything the help me feel alive

My weeping still remains, My night won’t turn to day
I’m waiting for the sun to rise
My strength is running thin, and my mind just seems to spin
Trying to find a place just to begin

I want to know the rest of the story

I want to see Your glory, Your face shining down on me

My heart cries out for the peace I hear about

I’m tired of all this fear and doubt inside

I know that your ways are not for me to know
I know that this pain – though it hurts – I know it helps me grow
My trust is in You, when I don’t know what to do
I know that You’re faithful -- faithful and true

Rescue me and hold me close, Walk me down the narrow road
Deliver me and pull me through, My Refuge is found in You

I want to be the rest of the story,
Reflecting Your glory for the world to see
My heart still cries out, but now my lips sing and shout
Of your love that rescued me from my doubt

New to blog

2005-03-29T19:43:00.000-08:00

Here is my first blog entry. Two days after Easter (still recovering from my Easter hangover), I find myself pondering whether or not our Easter Service was a success. On many fronts I think it was. Worship was strong, the creative elements really came together, the truth was clearly communicated, God moved. I am so humbled by the crowd that assembled to experience God through our Easter Worship Celebration, but I can't stop thinking about the masses who didn't experience anything on Easter except eggs, bunnies, and candy. I think at some level I honestly think that the masses will eventually come and check us out just because we're doing some really good God stuff. The reality is that we are here (as a church) to serve. It's time for us to serve our community - to reach out and touch the masses with encouragmnet, with the love of God in a way that allows us to connect them with that love. So, I find myself ready to do more than lead our team to organizing and leading good worship experiences, I'm ready to serve. If you're reading this, and you're a part of the River Stone Community. Pass on some creative service ideas where we can spread the love of God into the streets of San Marcos and Wimberley.

jason